.: Fresh Blood :.

I learned a few things at Fizz yesterday.

One. Never never ever forget to tell EVERYONE about the Halloween Dance. Fizz itself is always decked out with spooky, horrifying, gory stuff. It was really good this year. They had a ghoul sitting at the bar. I thought it was just someone all dressed up. I turn to actually look at it and ugh...creepy. Not alot of ppl were dressed up. Unfortunate. Again my fault. I couldn't find any of my wigs or anything to wear. Just picked up a witch's hat while I picked up the candy.

Two. I really really heart newbies. Just watching these new kids kinda terrified when they watch my own personal favorite dancers bust it out. *grin* I know all of them are intimidated but one of them is going to be so inspired...they are going to be awesome. What's more, and this maybe helpful or a hindrance, we (mostly me) are screaming with delight watching along too. Though its mostly for our inside joke entertainment, I hope that these new kids find it very entertaining too.

A - thareee. It has got to be fun to watch me dance. I must look like a complete dork goofing off more than "dancing" but its such a great distraction. Lately, I've been so strangely self-conscious about my dancing. It was kinda debilitating. I wouldn't take risks. I hated missing leads and making mistakes. In front of people. I hated hated hated not being one of the best in the room. I hated that there is so much I don't know. Hated that what I did know wasn't all that great. I was sucking.

Ok now here's the little circle... On Halloween I don't have to be myself and/or everyone else is in a crazy mood... The newbies are so entertained by whatever jackass dancing we do because we're insane... I get to dance (and like it) b/c I know I'm just adding to the fun in the room...

Lesson learned: you'll be happy making others happy and they make you happy and so on.

PS I just got the BIGGEST ego boost that night too... it made me feel special and remembered...

.: Sorry, guys :.

I'm in Chicago and Imma going to vote tomorrow AND often!!

UPDATE: It only took an hour to wait to vote. They would only let me vote once. Bummer.

.: What's Wrong With Being Muslim? :.

Its been hard to listen to sound bites from the Republican campaign about Muslims. My best friend is Muslim. The day he heard terrorists were involved on 9/11, he immediately shaved his beard. I lived with a Muslim family for almost a year. I am forever grateful of their kindness and patience with me. I didn't know what to say to explain (or defend) the Muslim culture in America to all the ignorant ignorant people. I could not believe what I was hearing...

Then I saw Colin Powell during his interview on Meet The Press...



He said what I was feeling. Using words I wish I could have said in those frustrating debates with people insisting that Obama is Muslim. What had moved me the most was Powell's description of a picture of a fallen American solider who was Muslim.



picture>thousandwords

.: I Hear Ya Brutha :.

I've been meaning to post this especially since my friend is trying to get me into performing again... Doing the female version of this is no challenge :)

.: A 25 List Update 2008:.

I accomplished quite a bit since my most recent 25 List post. All in such a short period of time..


Watch a Sing-a Long Movie: Totally. Me and my sister went and saw The Little Mermaid at the Music Box. They had a treat bag. It was filled with toys and noise makers to use during the movie. Kinda like the audience participation with a viewing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show but G-Rated and no transvestites!It was a wonderful bit of my birthday week...

Own A Convertible: Kinda did that this summer. I was part of a promo gig where I got to drive a convertible all over the City and Suburbs. In all actuality, I'm bumping it off the list. I realized it was going to be very very impractical in the winter months ;)

Write a Love Letter: This actually should have been ticked off a long time ago. Apparently, I have written more than one... and they were all very well done :D

Run a 5K: Woot! And so on... I am so very proud of myself. I did so much better than I ever anticipated. And you can read more about it here.

Now the Updated List

25 Things to Do Before I Die - in no particular order

1. Japan
2. Learn Guitar
3. Master Escrima
4. Go Canoeing with Rusty
5. Do a one-woman show
6. Be a mother
7. Direct a play in the Virginia
8. Swim in the Atlantic Ocean
9. France
10. Pay off debt
11. Do an art show or art fair
12. Be a wife
13. Live in California
14. Visit New York City (for real)
15. Graduate with my bachelors
16. Own a puppy.
17. Live in an apartment by a river
21. Publish poems
18. Visit London (For Real)
19. Take a train cross-country
20. Learn to juggle
22. Watch a Prince concert (from the good seats)
23. Volunteer in an After School program
24. Keep an herb garden
25. Meet Tina Fey

.: And I Get Paid For This? :.

Two things:

Fizz: I never really considered it my job. I have incredible fun putting up events with essentially money that is not my own. But then there is actual work involved. This is primarily when I have to put out someone's party. "No aerials on the social dance floor", "You have to play SWING music", "Listen, bitch, if you didn't pay at the door, you are not dancing on this floor. And I don't care that you are the bartenders wife!" and finally, ugh, telling someone that aren't going to be part of the Fizz party anymore. Well, in a different capacity. That is the worst part of my job, taking on the responsibility of being the party pooper.

New/Old Job: I really can't believe that I got my old job back! And I was getting so worried with the economy and my benefits and my 401K and a steady paycheck, etc.. And when I started up again, I got hugs from all my old co-workers with lovely compliments about missing me... And I get to be in a market again surrounded with foods, cheeses, and wine! And I get to help people to plan out their own little parties ;) I have yet to feel what will be the worst part of this job.. but I'm not going to be waiting for it...

.: Ugh..what a shit week :.

It started off fine enough. A visit with Mar and friends with some great Korean BBQ and yummy Lutz cake! Excellent conversation about the Palin/Couric interview... Gonna watch the VP debate in a tic..

Find out on Monday that my latest promo gigs will be scaled back. So a little less income there. Then I hear about the market crashing. My sister later tells me the real deal. That's when I get real worried... and part of it is about Fizz...

Yesterday, the Cubs lost. In FANTASTIC fashion... poor sis she's the one with the shit week.

Hopefully this weekend will be awesome... WCLX10! Get to see ppl that aren't out very often or just plain moved away... notes about that later ;)

.: Le Vie En Rose :.

Finally got to catch this wonderful wonderful movie. Marion Cotillard was magical. Certainly worth the Academy Award. And the life of Edith Piaf... What a true artist...Life with no regets.




Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien - Edith Piaf (English translation)

No! Absolutely nothing
No! I regret nothing
Neither the good done to me nor the bad
All this is much the same to me!

No! Absolutely nothing
No! I regret nothing
It is paid, swept away, forgotten
I don't give a damn about the past!

With my souvenirs
I lit a fire
My sorrows, my pleasures
I have no more need of them!

Swept away the love affairs
With their tremors
Swept away forever
I start from scratch

No! Absolutely nothing
No! I regret nothing
Neither the good done to me nor the bad
All this is much the same to me!

No! Absolutely nothing
No! I regret nothing
Because my life, because my joys
Today that begins with you!

.: No Omaha and J & K + 8 :.

Imma moron and got things mucked up with the travel plans. Ah well, got a few more hours in for work.

Not alot done this past week. Ok, really delved into Jon and Kate Plus Eight lately. I'd heard so much good stuff about it so I finally caught an episode. I got hooked. Its an interesting view into a even more complex way of raising children not counting the fact its a group of multiples. That and the little girls look like me and my sisters at age 3 or 4.

.: Oh Omaha! :.

In a few hours, I'll be on my way to Omaha. I need a vacation from not-a-real job. Honestly.

So I'll be visiting b.lang in NE. Its been a couple of years and I'd missed his wedding. So, though its a dance weekend. I'm not all that excited to dance. I'll do the Jack and Jill... Well, cause I always do ;) but I'm looking forward to hanging out with the Jamborama crowd more than dance.

I almost would prefer to hide myself in the hotel and just visit Omaha. Seriously, I'll bring the cocoon with me...

Its a good thing I've gotten over this horrendous cough and wisdom tooth aching...

.: Why Are They Called Wisdom Teeth? :.

Well, I got one plucked out today! It was wonderfully faster than expected. The shots took more time than the actual extraction. Apparently, I have the rest incredibly impacted. Loading up on the Vicodin.

Heading out of town for a promo. In a smaller of the cars...Should be fuuun... I hope I'm not completely worthless. Still have to study my numbers ...argh.

And in remembrance...

.: Birthday Week 2008 :.

I can't keep up anymore. 35 is making me slower. And more meditative.

Saturday - KARAOKE! I think that says enough. No wait. Did me some Deth Metal Disney.

Sunday - Fam time. Alot of food. Getting plants for my sister's garden, I run into my old bartender. He's happier so that's good to hear and hopefully he'll visit me at Fizz again.

Monday - Day before actually birthday. Worked for 10 hours at my new jobber. Temp promo work but pays very well. Then to Fizz! It was way fun but not as fun as its been with Anne-girl in town. Had a drink with my bartender. I'm really going to miss him.

Tuesday - Actual birthday. Didn't do a damn thing. Called up some folks that wished me happy birthday. It was nice just catching up. Tried to keep up with the well-wishes from ppl on facebook...

Wednesday - More promo work and more doing nothing. It was raining. I wanted to hole up at home instead of going out to Green Dolphin Street.

Thursday - All me day! Went to see Lookingglass Alice again. Whee! Love It! Then I treated myself to Grand Lux Cafe. Unfortunately all in the rain. But I did happen to have another umbrella in my bag. Accidentally brought one and I saw this woman walking up the street from me, soaked. So I walked up to her and gave her my extra umbrella. yes, me day.

Friday - mostly home things. Mostly in front of the TV working on the art project for Drew's. Felt good doing some art. Then another promo gig where I totally got lost. But I got lost while driving a convertible roadster so that was fuuun.

Saturday - Lechon at sister's new place. I love the new kitchen so it was nice to help out with some cooking before the party. Nice spending more time with extended family and catching up with old friends. I unfortunately had to leave early b/c of another promo gig...

Not a incredibly festive week but it was nice spending it primarily alone. Someone pointed out to me that I'm very solitary on the major holidays... dunno why.

.: I Loves Me Some Princess Bride :.

.: Chicago Botanic Garden :.

The first day I had gone to the Chicago Botanic Garden, I was exhausted. I didn't sleep the night before. I'd had insomnia for a while... Cranky, Hungry, Sleepy and all the other elves...

But when I went through the main doors, it was like, heaven, or nirvana. I instantly up and awake. And there I was without a sketchbook. Luckily, one of the guys just let me use his sketchbook.

Then I was drawing alot. I'd walk along the paths with my friends but I would I sit down to sketch when I could. In the Japanese Garden, I spent the most time. Here's one of my better drawings:

.: I Wish I Was Cooler... :.

A strange few weeks... I've actually had the opportunity to chat with ex-boys and ex-things. We've both have changed alot. Though I can't remember how it all ended... looking back it really was for the best. That and not talking to them for about eight years after the fact... I truly loved them and still do. I'm happy for them and they are happy for me. Now we're cool... (shoulda stuck to my guns...)



And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool

And we used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

.: The 2008 Olympics :.

Every four years or so I am camped out in front of the TV set. Not like I don't that already but this becomes a 24 hour event. What's worse is that there are so many mediums to watch EVERYTHING going on.

Every for years or so I'm like, meh, I can see the results online or on recaps. But then, the friggin Opening Ceremonies freakin' hook me in, dammit. I haven't even seen the entire thing, I just saw the march of the nations. Oh and lordy when I saw Yao Ming come into the stadium and then hearing the roar of the crowd, my heart was so inspired. And then I see this little little boy running to catch up with the giant Yao Ming as Ming carried the massive flag for China. This little little boy's named Lin Hao. Lin Hao not only survived the earthquake that shook rural China, he saved the lives of two of his classmates.

The lighting of the Olympic flame, watching Phelps win all eight of his gold medals, spending all this time rooting for all kinda athletes, American or not... all these things will never compare to seeing a tall proud man holding up a young hero in the red glow of fireworks...

My 5K Playlist

Originally posted on my FB Notes and I couldn't get my pics off of there...Finally decided that I'll post this here...

Ok. My first 5K. Normally, I would post my results, etc on my personal blog. But there were so many words of encouragement these last few days so I wanted to share.

First thing you should know. Music is the biggest motivator in my life. My personal blog is basically lyrics and youtube videos as the relate to my situation at the time. So while training, I didn't measure out distance or time. It was my series of playlists that were roughly 40 min. long each

Next, I had three other motivators for this race. 1) My first real serious, training, workout physical challenge I'd ever done, 2) On my Things To Do Before I Die List so wanted to knock it off the list, 3) It was a big middle finger to anyone that's put me down or made me sad esp. Who's-His-Butt (WHB).

Finally, I was really really happy to find out that we can run with mp3 players. I chose my "Move It II" playlist. Ready? Here we go...

"Do You Hear The People Sing" - Les Mis: Original London Cast

So perfect coming out of the gate... And then to see that line of runners ahead of me along the lake. So perfect. And inspirational..

"Dirty Little Secret" - The All-American Rejects

Honestly, love the song more for its video. Look it up. The revving guitars and solid beat starts me into my run for my training. But I was paced fast at the beginning of this race. My sister was right. I was so jazzed up. And this song kinda helped... oh and the first middle finger...

"SexyBack" - Justin Timerlake

Dude. I loves me my Timberlake and then with Timbaland pipping in? Gets me going all the time. The Museum Campus was in sight. But by this time I'd figured out that I got to slow the hell down. So Timbaland set my pace..yeah!!!

"Let's Get Retarded" - Black Eyed Peas

This on everybody's workout playlist right? The bass drum starts me up again and the "runnin' runnin" part the pushes me along. However, its got this beat beat beat good way for me to get onto the slower pace I needed...

"I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" - My Chemical Romance

In training, the spite and hatred towards WHB would power me up with this song. Today, it was the point that I realized..... I'm NOT Ok.....I might have to start walking.... but my sister told me never to stop moving AT ALL. It'll be hard to start up again.. heh then the song has this very entertaining break - "I'm okay.. I'm okay now ..And you really need to listen to me..'cause I'm telling you the truth..I'm okay (trust me)" I couldn't stop. It makes me laugh...

"Message of Love" - The Pretenders (Live)

Two things, 1) Chrissy refers to Chicago b/c that's where it was taped. There I was running along the lake and the skyline..pushing along..2) Its got one of my favorite O. Wilde quotes : "We all of us are in the gutters; Some of us are looking at the stars!" I loves me some Wilde too.

"Smile" - Lily Allen (Live)

Lily Allen in this plucky girl from England. Another good video. Look it up. This version is very bouncy. And I needed it. So I start hopping more than running... it was fun!.. oh and this is another up yours towards WHB.

"The Last Song" - Foo Fighters

Oh this one got me fired up.. and I thought what a fitting way to finish up the race as I saw the event tents coming up in sight...But there is this loop that takes us WAAY past the starting point.. But a good steady beat.. I stick to it...

"Its Tearing Up My Heart" - The Backstreet Boys

I don't know. It found its way onto the playlist. I kept it. But it was a sign that my playlist was near the end. I just passed the last part of the loop and still couldn't see the finish line...

"Freedom 90" - George Michael

Dude. Dear Lord, I was soooo hurting. I was getting into the meat of the song where George Michael is bitching about his blessed life.. Completely forgetting that there is great part where he breaks into this whole, gospel, crazy-inspiring chorus. Then I hear Jim off to the side cheering me on.. I can see the finish line.. so what does Tessa do? Not cause she needs the time or anything.. Tessa SPRINTS it in... If I bother finishing anything, I finish HUGE.

35min something. Whatever I was happy I was under 40.. I just wanted to finish the race, I just wanted to tick it off my list, ...and then there's the big up yours to all those people I'd LET me feel bad. So, now I'm kinda a little more awesome than I already was..

.: Mercy Me :.

I'd, of course, fell in love with Duffy's video for "Mercy". When the Londoner was in town, we'd had gone all Westie style to "Mercy" in front of a jukebox. Then I started to look for Duffy's videos on youtube. This video is fantastic! Unfortunately, I can't embed in my blog...but the song is lovely none the less... You can replace "the tube" to "the El" and its very applicable..

Warwick Avenue - Duffy

When I get to Warwick Avenue...
Meet me by the entrance of the tube.
We can talk things over, a little time...
Promise me you won't step outta line.

When I get to Warwick Avenue...
Please drop the past and be true.
Don't think we're okay, just because I'm here...
You hurt me bad, but I won't shed a tear.
I'm leaving you for the last time baby...

You think you're loving but you don't love me.
I've been confused outta’ my mind lately...
You think you're loving but I want to be free.
Baby you've hurt me.

When I get to Warwick Avenue...
We'll spend an hour, but no more than two.
Our only chance to speak, once more...
I showed you the answers, now here's the door.

When I get to Warwick Avenue...
I'll tell you baby, that we're through.

I'm leaving you for the last time baby...
You think you're loving but you don't love me.
I've been confused outta’ my mind lately...
You think you're loving but you don't love me.
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me.

All the days spent together, I wished for better,
But I didn't want the train to come.
Now it's departed,
I'm broken hearted, seems like we never started.
All the days spent together, when I wished for better,
And I didn't want the train to come

You think you're loving but you don't love me.
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me.
You don't love me,
I want to be free,
Baby you've hurt me.

.: Elvis Is Alive 5K :.

So I know that I get to knock off one more by running tomorrow but I's scurred. I just sign up online and now I'm super nervous. I don't know what to expect. I'm waiting to get a phone call back from friend/dancer. Hopefully, he'll be able to talk me down. Eep.

.: I {heart} Unicorns :.

You know throughout this blog, I keep referring to those extra special bfs/crushes as "unicorns"...

Ten reasons it would rule to date a unicorn.