.:] swing dancing [:.

haven't touched upon that subject in a quite a tick.

Just the other day I'd received a package from the Omaha Jitterbugs. In it included, a video tape, a letter of apology, discount tickets for the Cowtown Jamboree this year, and a check for 40 dollars. I'd forgotten I'd won a prize last July. Hell, I'd forgotten my second place trophy at my host families house.

So I went ahead and popped the tape into the player and watched all these great dancers. I can't remember the last time I watched a swing dance tape much less one that I was on. Why hasn't anyone told me my ass pops out so friggin much?

Twas good times. Its hard to beleive that I created so much good and fun stuff with guys I'd just met. I love JnJs. I miss competitions. I miss traveling. I miss being hardcore spazz swing freak. OK not so much on that last one. I just kinda miss the sick passion of it all.

.:] my new brother [:.

*fingers crossed*

He seemed a bit perturbed and annoyed with me. I know that look well. My sisters look at me like that when I squeek out, eventually, with a sheepish smile, that I'd fucked up again.

Well, I kinda sorta fucked up again... *grin* This time involving him. He has a look his very own, one of exhasperation, that involves his eyes bugging out and his jaw dropping a bit.

and, bless him, he sighed slightly and said, "Well... next time. You'll learn from this one."

I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait.

.:] more great news [:.

but I don't know if I can tell you yet. But its put me in the best of spirits. and now off to get my micetro on, yo. *and you should too!*

Mammary Micetro!!!

May 25th!
Cornservatory (4210 N. Lincoln)
Doors open at 8:00 pm, Games start about 8:45 or 9
BYOB
$5!!!

Come on out and be ready to laugh your little butts off at the Mammary Micetro. This is a short form comedy improv competition that starts with 20 performers and ends with the funniest one left standing.

Who can play? Anyone who wants to. The first 20 people to sign up get to play games as seen on Whose Line is it Anyway? and other great short form comedy improv shows (don't ask me to name another. Please).

What if I don't want to play? We still need an audience! As an audience member, it will be your job to yell out suggestions to our performers, yell "DIE!!!" when our performers screw up, score the quality of the scenes, and laugh until it hurts.

And of course, all of the proceeds from this event will go to the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

So come on out! May 25th. 4210 N. Lincoln (there are big corn stalks painted on the front of the building - you can't miss it). Five dollars. BYOB. Doors open at 8:00pm. I'll see you there!

.:] my music [:.

I love the perplexed looks I get from kids with their phatty phat headphones. I'm kinda embarrased when I pop out my cassette, flip it over, pop it back in. But I try to do it with some flair, punching the play button, knowing full well that the guy with his white i-pod headphones is reminiscing. Or thinking I'm a fool.

My little sister wonders while I blew cash on a portable CD player not too long ago if I'm going to be lugging around this old Sony Walkman. But I found this PILE of old cassettes! Short list: Rick Astley (swoon.), The Best of Bahaus, The Cure Compilation - an Import, Tanita Tikaram, a quirky collection of Filipino/Tagalog pop tapes, ooooo and a tape of our live interview for Selling Spice (interviewed BY Arif!)

i don't care. I'll prolly end up listening to them all and slowly discarding them. but right now The Sundays are in the playa.

the sundays-can't be sure

give me a story & give me a bed
give me possessions
oh love luck and money they go to my head like wildfire
it's good to have something to live for
you'll find live for tomorrow
live for a job & a perfect behind
high time

a-ah

england my country the home of the free
such miserable weather
but England's as happy as England can be why cry

and did you know desire's a terrible thing the worst that I could find
and did you know desire's a terrible thing but I rely on mine

a-ah

England my country the home of the free
such miserable weather
but England's as happy as England can be why cry

and did you know desire's a terrible thing
the worst that I could find
and did you know desire's a terrible thing
but I rely on mine

did you know desire's a terrible thing
it makes the world go blind
but if desire, desire's a terrible thing
you know that I really don't mind

It's my life
& it's my life
& though I can't be sure what I want any more
it will come to me later

well it's my life
& it's my life
& though I can't be sure if I want any more
it will come to me later... ah
yeah

.:] The Return of Queen Bea [:.

I refer to her as Hedds, but I'll usually introduce her as Bea. My sister, by older sister by choice, not by age. She's coming back to Chicago for sure. Most probably in July and I can't wait.

It'd be wonderful timing since I'd just be starting up school again. She's been one of my great supporters and harshest critic as well. It'd be nice to know that she's near.

Plus, the chances of all three Auza sisters partying at the same time... greater and ROCKSTAR!

.:] Negative Nancy [:.

man, that last post was sad. Ok, now to be honest, it really wasn't a bad day yesterday. Just a passing negative cloud.

Actual list of good things:

- Got to play fake baseball and discuss Sosa and Alou with a five year old. Its kinda nice to talk to a Cubs fan that's got the same amount of player knowledge that I do.

-Had a crying screaming cranky child fall asleep in my arms. Much like the banging your head against the wall theory. All the pain and trouble are all worth it when it finally stops.

- Got an offer for a nanny position in June. we'll see.

- ALOT of tips at the juice bar. Well, alot more than usual, don't know why.

- Crazy ass adventure in the downpour and inspiration for more writing.

- Finally, got to the end point of some phone tag (of sorts). Much like the banging your head against the wall theory, well worth the trouble when it finally stops.

.:] Red Flags [:.

i have all sorts of little red flags going up. I could potentially be on a slippery slope. I've been hiding, not writing, working and hating it. i mean I think its a good thing that I've been busy, and that I've been making a bit more money but... i dunno there's a BIG BUT. No, I don't think its all about the work and the communting...

I'm getting all tense b/c things are going well? Does that sound as stupid as it looks? I have all these people that are literally happy/jumpy/clapping that I'm finishing up school and I'm happy about that but deep down I'm completely creeped out that I'm going to fail and disappoint them.

Not me. Me. Not me not having a career. Not me not having money. Not me not being self-sufficient finally. I'm not worried or scared about being post thirty and lame. I'm worried that I'm going to see a glance of disappointment.

Even that fear's not a great motivator. I dunno there's gotta a balance somewhere's...

All in all there's good news esp on the Avon Walk front. More on that in that blog...

.:] So Long [:.

It feels like its been forever since the last time I've posted. I kinda miss the days where I could just sit in from of the monitor and crap out various things multiple times a day. I don't know why it feels as though grabbing my journal and getting a pen to paper is much more difficult.

Well, the last few times I have been able to get in front of computer. Its mostly been for Avon Walk bidness. or else getting my financial aid taken care of for school.

well, to update, not missing too much some of the same old same old for now. Works been fine. Waiting for the street festival season to swing in and then we'll be seeing alot more bunny sightings. Alot of walking and commuting, so I've been reading or listening to British Fiction. I'm on an Agatha Christie kick for the books, revisiting Inspector Morse and Brother Cadfael episodes on VHS, and wondering what sort of introspective I might have found on the Gosford Park DVD.

Apologies to my readers, since this is all incredibly dull. Perhaps I'll bring in my journal tomorrow and post up siome of those.

well, that's all for now gotta breakdown the wheatgrass juicer...

.:] great news! [:.

I'm doing the Avon Walk.. and I'm staring up school again in July!

.:] word vomit [:.

Let's see what I can puke out in a few minutes:

[strong]Mean Girls:[/strong] go see it. Esp if you've the boobs and vagina combination. Esp if high school seriously sucked for you. I {heart} Tina Fey. And has anyone read "Queen Bees and Wannabees"? I'll certainly go on about it again when i see it again.

[strong] M. Night Shamyalan:[/strong] He's ABC/Disney's bitch. If ya didn't notice he was hosting his own network showing of "Sixth Sense" and "Unbreakable". That guy has an ego like Hitchcock's. Even has bit parts for himself in his movies. I remember think I didn't like him all that much when I first met him. And sure I think he's talented as all hell. I still think hosting your own DVD or movie is pretty lame ass.

[strong] Money: [/strong] Hate it. Hate not having it. Hate owing it. Even when I do have it I can't enjoy it I get all nervous... nonetheless still gotta deal with it.

finally, I wish I had more internet access...

.:] Things Overheard Today [:.

"Its a little too late for Easter"

"Are you a girl bunny or a boy bunny? Come on, you can tell me"

"Go Bunny, go bunny, go bunny"

Yup... that's right.... out bein' the bunny again today. In the Daley Plaza around noon, I was doing about a half hour of dancing/waving/aerobics. I even got to dance with Ronald McDonald.

No kidding. McDonald's is really really trying to shake its UNhealthy image. I'd overheard one of their reps all concerned that "Supersize Me" the documentary is out this weekend....

AND I got jacked from behind by a woman. It was noon. I don't think I can blame alcohol.