.: Vote For Pedro :.

I know I posted a clip of it after the Hideout entry. But its necessary now...

The Promise - When in Rome

If you need a friend, don't look to a stranger,
You know in the end, I'll always be there.
But when you're in doubt, and when you're in danger,
Take a look all around, and I'll be there.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will.

When your day is through, and so is your temper,
You know what to do, I'm gonna always be there.
Sometimes if I shout, it's not what's intended.
These words just come out, with no gripe to bear.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will.

I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you, I need to tell you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will. I will. I will.

.: New CD (s) :.

Sweet Baby Jebus...

I found a CD that sings to my Swing and Funky Soul... Check this shit out. Mocean Worker!

Its all a sign.. My old dancey dance partner has moved back into town and we are going to hurt the dance floor. I'm so hurtin for some serious competition.

In fact, bb was there when we heard Mocean Worker on the radio. We just looked at each other and nodded waiting WAITIING for them to tell who was what. So I had to wait till today to figure it out. He's going to freek when he realizes the samples this guy uses.... Then last night we competited at Fizzle and got second on the slow jam. I canNOT believe he's only been dancing like a year.

Oooo.. and caught these guys on Eight Forty Eight on npr. L'Altra. This is my next CD. It was an interesting interview to wake up to - listen to it. They've a very creative story.

.: snow day(s) :.

This is a perfect example of how I feel about now. Courtesy of tdj.

I really shouldn't complain. I've basically been snowed in with Dev and Nub for the past day. Its been entertaining as hell.

We went ahead and a FABOO Floss! last night despite all my grumbling and wanting to bail. Then an amazing game of three team darts at Gannon's. A quick jump across the street to the Wild Goose to say howdy to manda et al was followed by a trek to The Hideout with Billbo. Nub and the party van soon followed.

For that brief period, before the boys finally got there, I felt super self-conscious. I told Billbo so. I don't how I came to the judgement that everyone else there was prettier, cooler, and smarter than me. With a little reassuring from Billbo, I didn't decide to hate myself.

Then came the dancing. Elixar to all woes for me. A girl dancing next to Nub beckoned me to dance onstage with them. She was so adorable but looked as though she'd take no guff. Turns out she was the best DJs of the evening. Everything got me groovin' or really spoke to me.

You could find somebody better girl
He could only make you cry
You deserve somebody better girl
He's c-cold as ice
------------
When your day is through, and so is your temper,
You know what to do, I'm gonna always be there.
Sometimes if I shout, it's not what's intended.
These words just come out, with no gripe to bear.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you...
-------------
All the cops in the donut shop say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk like an egyptian
Walk like an egyptian

ok so the last was a gag but it was fun to dance to...

There was one song that I *think* she spun kinda was some wacky coincidence. Quite fitting though for the weirdness lately. Someone had posted anonymously in my comments: "Nothing left for me to do but dance." I had a hell of a time placing where I'd heard it before. I'd thought for sure it was a movie quote. It was very near the end of the night and Nub gets me up off the floor to keep dancing and its to ...

Jamiroqai- Canned Heat

You know this boogie is for real
I used to put my faith in worship
But then my chance feels just too heaven sent
I used to worry about the future
But now I throw my caution to the wi-i-i-ind

I had no reason to be carefree
No, no, no
Until I took a trip to the other side of town
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You know I heard that boogie rhythm, hey!
I had no choice but to get down, down, down, down

Dance! Whooo!
Nothing left for me to do but dance
All these bad times I'm going through
Just dance!
Got canned heat in my heels tonight, baby...
Whoooooo ohhh

I feel the thunder, see the lightning
I know this anger's heaven sent
So I've gotta hang out on my hang-ups
'Cos on my boogie I feel so hell-bent hey, hey
It's just an instant gut reaction, that I got
I know I've never ever felt like this before
I don't know what to do
But then that is nothing new
Stuck between hell and high water, me I'll kill to make it through, hey!

Dance, yeah
Nothing left for me to do but dance!
All these bad times I'm going through
Just dance! hey
Got canned heat in my heels tonight, baby...

You know this boogie is for real, gal
So much canned heat in my heals, yeah
Gonna dance, gonna dance my blues away tonight
You know I’m gonna dance my blues away
You know this boogie is for real, gal
So much canned heat in my heals, yeah
Gonna dance, gonna dance my blu-u-u-es awa-a-a-y toni-i-i-ght

Dance! Whooo!
Nothing left for me to do but dance
All these bad times I'm going through
Just dance
Got canned heat in my heels tonight, baby
Whoooooo ohhh

Dance, yeah
Oh the nasty things that people say
Dance, yeah
But I’m gonna make it anyway
Dance, yeah
Canned heat in my heals tonight, baby

You know that this boogie is for real
Got so much canned heat in my heals
Gonna dance, gonna dance my blues away tonight

Whooo!
You know, you know this boogie, this boogie is for real
Got so much canned heat, canned heat in my heals...

.: sigh :.

Its with heavy heart that I've writing this now. I'd known for awhile that TT was getting deployed to Iraq. He's already had his good-bye dance at Fizz. But I just opened up some email he'd sent relating his website.

He's gone and created a pretty complex and secure website to keep everyone astride of his deployment. Check ou this FAQ. I've just read through his entries and its unreal. I can't believe that he's actually over there.

I haven't been very close to TT but spend enough hours dancing with someone... And there were even times I actually did NOT like dancing with him... I think what kinda disturbs me more was finding a link the other week someone had posted. That link was to an LJ of a serviceman that had died recently....

I just .. I don't know I'm really shocked that this is all the more personal now...

.: Just For Manda :.

Don't Stop Believin'

I think I smell a Journey tribute in the works at Holiday - if you can move your penicillin pierced ass on Wed.

.: worth sharing :.

Two Things: filmtease.com and Postal Service.

Firstly, tjmweb just announced that filmtease.com is closing up shop. Which sucks with an industrial strength vacuum cleaner. Those guys so cracked my shit up and made me look forward to some amazing ass movies. And Casshern - the bestest trailer evah. Well, there's still the book.

As for The Postal Service, kmp and mugsy put up this link to their new video for "We Will Become Silhouettes". sigh. good times. As Mugs puts it, "The Postal Service puts the 'dope' in 'supermegadope'."

.: Guest Blog :.

by Dev. Cause we're bloody snowed in... and bored. And I'm not allowed to to drunk blog.

UPDATE: Pics and more HERE.

.: News Flash!!! :.

The Best News Team Evah!

Could you imagine Jon Stewart doing field reporting for CBS? Or Dave Chapelle forcast news for the Weather Channel? They're going for a younger and hipper look.

I may never have to own a TV set again.

.: wtf! indeed :.

Courtesy of snora:

Lindyhoppers or Swingers

hehehe... I miss Swing Travel...Road Trip Anyone?

.: Is this thing on?:.

So I don't really have to stop blogging when I leave here after tomorrow...

.: I Want To Break Free :.

I've been hearing this song alot lately. I've had a Queen fix thanks to WM and now I can't get enough. I just caught the C2 commercial on TV. People dancing... Being happy... I want the same thing. Sure I've been out partying but.. there's a big BUT ...and I'm not really very happy. I get home and I just get all sad again.

For a long time I've been thinking its because I need to be some sort of better, stronger person and now I'm starting to wonder if the answer is in just letting go of worrying.

I dunno.. meanwhile I'm just going to keep dancing. It hasn't helped that Fizz has been closed....

Queen - I Want To Break Free

I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self satisfied I don't need you
I've got to break free
God knows god knows I want to break free

I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know it's for real
I've fallen in love yeah
God knows god knows i've fallen in love

It's strange but it's true
I can't get over the way you love me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free baby
Oh how I want to be free
Oh how I want to break free

But life still goes on
I can't get used to living without living without
Living without you by my side
I don't want to live alone hey
God knows got to make it on my own
So baby can't you see
I've got to break free

I've got to break free
I want to break free yeah

I want I want I want I want to break free....

.: The Poopsters :.

So these little lovelies have been my wards these past few weeks. Milo is on the left and Milla is on the right.

I'm so sad that I'm going to have to leave them in the next few days. They've been little brats to be honest. They're very energetic Chuhuahua mixes that both demand attention every chance they get. Milla has just whined her way onto my lap as I type. Milo is a bit a bully and a rascal. He sneaks into everyone bowl of the food, Milla's, Melvin the Cat, even mine.

Its certainly taught me about taking care of others. I've been sick most of my time here and the weather has been very crappy. So at first I was very awful about making sure I had timed and organized their meals and their walks. I'd always had low low maintenance pets - birds, fish, cats. Once, I pissed them off and missed a meal. Milla then ate the seat of my favorite pants off. My sailor pants!

Look at her! I couldn't be angry for long. Though I don't know if I'm ready for the responsibility of my own puppy...

Your hosts: Nub and Dev

Sam L. Jackson, wm, n' me

I miss the rat...

ginny yum yum

nub n' wm

g-roomie n' me

finally the finger

.: excuse the dust :.

So I'd decided to do a bit of restructuring. Please be patient. Comments should be working properly now. Let me know what you think.

.: I've Been So Busy :.

Not doing a damn thing.

Not entirely true.

Last Night was a party at the Floss boys apartment. At Dev's instance that there be more nudity at his party, I'd suggested Lemondrop Bodyshots. After listening to This American Life Story of Cuervo Man, I'd felt inspired to motivate folks. Unfortunately, I was not of the same caliber of the times I was doing liquor promos AND I hadn't had dinner before Floss!. I just so wasn't motivated. So there again was lack of nudity. I believe I was the only participant in suggested body shots.

It really was a shame MK wasn't there. Our bodyshots are inspirational.

Before that was trying to clean house in the place I'm house-sitting. With the leftovers from the dinner parties and the meals I've actually been cooking myself, I'd let the kitchen really go. The adorable lil doggies, I'm sitting are regular poop n' pee factories. I could never time their walkies so that both could do their business outside. It was one or the other doing "one" or "two". After all dishes cleaned and cooking tops wiped down, I went to town with a broom and a mop. Must try to catch this kind of motivation for my own home.

Friday. I barely remember Friday. I was on a Nyquil/Dayquil rollercoaster. I had to choose between the blue pill or the red pill ala Matrix most of the week. I'd thought I'd kicked it till I picked up a pack of Parliament Lights b/c I was thoroughly pissed on Thursday. {Don't kill me, Kim.}

Thursday. Sucked. My phone went out and I blew a lot of cash to get it back on. Then I lost a major massage gig that woulda meant a roadtrip to Michigan this Saturday. Traffic. More puppy poo n' pee. blahblahblah. Then Dev et al bail on me for this IFC Film Fanatic Trivia Game. Except for WM who made this all better. We had a coupla pitchers and sucked at the game. Fuckin' Falzone! All of this before 11p. So then WM takes me to NEO. I was in heaven. It might have been all those pills this week but I was having serious Medusas flashbacks. The darkdark room, the new wave, gothy, industrial music, the smoke, the black clothes, artistic haircuts, and then interpretive dancing... I stood for a long while just taking it all in. Then of course, some Anything Box (or the like) comes out and I'm bolting for the dance floor. I don't know why I hadn't gone before. Oooo and then I run into some ole Lindy friends (Remember Ray and Boxer Tom?) and bust out some serious tacklehugs. If Kuya showed, I woulda pissed maself. I was soo Goopy and happy by the end of the night. We are SO definitely going back. Perfect. I have a couple of days to look forward to dancing.

Too many cooks... 

bb, me, and Anne-girl... 

Chicken Marsala, Baby Greens with Basil - Garlic Vinagrette,
bb's special spread on bread, and a Merlot-Cab blend to start...

.: I Fuckin {Heart} This Link :.

What can I say... I'm a huge fan of fuckin' bunnies.

.: Insight from Anne-girl :.

"Ashlee Simpson just wants to be a Misfit to Jessica Simpson's Jem."

.:] who are you [:.

and what have you done with Tessa?

swingdoc told me this once. I had refused to go and talk to the hot Austrailian ski instructors. Come on people, when can I NOT talk to someone, much less flirt. Flirting is easy peasy. Its talking. Its being nice. Its getting to know someone. Lemon squeezy.

But my fears hit me at the strangest and most irrational times. In fact I'd spoken to these guys before. I probably wasn't ever going to be able to speak to them again. There was nothing to lose.

Whenever I meet up with a new therapist or even make a new friend, they seem to be fairly inmpressed with how outgoing I can be or my risk-taking stories. (perhaps this in comparison to their other clients or friends?) then inevitably there's the moment while I'm frozen in fear, I gotta wonder: If I'm going to silly and stupid over this little thing like saying hi, why would they believe whatever fantastic stories I've told?

Had this conversation with wreckermatt last night about how you aren't yourself for those moments. WM is a riot but I'd never really noticed how painfully shy he is in crowds. I have an almost opposite problem. I can't seem to talk to people very well, UNLESS we are good friends, on less than fluffy, chatty level. Or something like that... WM seems to have the same symptoms I do. I just get stupid and dumb. I can't for the life of me think of what to say next. If I do talk, I start mumbling. Which is what I did in DC. Me thinks I kinda missed an opportunity to get to know e better cause I didn't know who I was at the time.

.: round rats even :.

So i'd noticed that Rachael Yamagata has her new video of "Worn Me Down" on her site. Boo. I was sad she couldn't use my version.

*sigh* but I knew this already... I tried to pitch her the video as she signed my CD at Shuba's. She'd told me they just finished up filming in Tiajuana. So I told her to call me if she needs a video script. Then I went and molested her drummer's pectoralis major. Did I forget to mention that I was a bit drinky? (what's with me and drummers? atleast they aren't saxophonists...)

Here's another favorite - fitting I think.

I'll Find A Way - Rachael Yamagata

I'll find a way to see you again
I used to think that anything I'd do
Wouldn't matter at all anyway
But now I find that when it comes to you
I'm the winner of cards I can't play

Wait for me
Darling, I need you desperately here
And I'll find a way to see you again
The rain is like an orchestra to me
Little gifts from above meant to say
Girl, you falling at his feet
Isn't lovely or stunning today

Wait for me
I'm alive when you're here with me, stay
And I'll find a way to see you again
Why do the street lamps dieWhen you're passing by
Like a band that won't stay on my shoulder tonight?
If you held me close, would you laugh it away?
Would you dare the glance that I steal to stay?

And I'll find a way to see you again

The rain will bring me down

.: yur VD cards here :.

Never too early to share the love, spite, or bitterness with VD cards and lovely drawings...
----> youyesyou.net

.: homestar and bananas? :.

So mugsy sends me this. Maybe I can do for mascots what True Porn Clerk Stories did for video store clerks.

.: all good :.

Live Jam Music = Unchoregraphed Dancing = Damn Great Sex

its about people making something beautiful, fun as hell, and worth applauding...

.: dinner partay :.

Had ma self a nice little dinner party last night. All on a bit of whim. I felt most of the first days of the new year with no appetite. Actually, I didn't eat much of anything while I was in DC too. So I felt super starved. Anne-girl and I had plans to do something that didn't cost much of anything, preferably free.

So I gave bb a ring and told him I had this great lil kitchen he could cook in if he wasn't working. Lucky us he was free. So Anne-girl picked him and brought him out here. We looked over some his culinary school stuff and decided upon a garlic basil vinegrette for a salad and Chicken Marsala.

Then off to Jewel which was a lovely adventure in itsself. Starting off with tearing into fresh French bread first thing. Our goal: To keep the dinner under 50 dollars. This was pretty difficult since we needed to get a lot of basics to pad what we'd found in the pantry. There was also fact that Anne-girl has been having bad reactions to processed sugars so everything had to be fresh or made from scratch. We were on a bit of a time crunch since we all were starving and expecting the unicorn to show up at the apartment.

Race back to the apartment. With little help from me, lotsa help from Anne-girl, and some "pretty-good" bottles of wine from wine snob of a unicorn, brian presented a wonderful dinner. We had some nice candlelight, great Brazilian music, and some enlightening conversation and gossip. Even a few dances on these great hardwood floors. Dessert: A strawberry/basil/redwine reduction on poundcake.

God, I miss hosting lil dinner parties. AG reminded me that my last party was NYE 2002. At a another house sitting gig with fantastic hardwood floors... good times. but even if its just a food making together, that's be good too. i think next week its crepes and Fitzgeralds for dancing. Make your reservations now

.: End of the 04 :.

So the very end of 2004 started with a call back to Old Tessa. I had the opportunity to do something from the hip and crazy and I took it!

As i was on the phone with e, who was giving me all my flight information to Dulles, I kept thinking, "this is insane. this is crazy. this is nuts." e had offered me a ticket to spend time with him in DC. If I wanted to stay out longer and celebrate NYE I was welcome to it. Old Tessa wouldn't have thought twice about it. Pack up a backpack and get a cab to O'Hare. Fuck everyone else.

but new and improved Tessa wasn't just going to grab a ticket. Made sure everything was in order before I called e back to take him up on the offer.

Now about e. Truth be told, I barely know a thing about him. His been the drummer for my pal's band for years. And that's how I've known him, the drummer who takes his shirt off if you give him enough beers. But over the years with small talk at the bar before gigs, chatting at various parties, and then sitting in a hottub with just a cowboy hat on your head. I could see no harm just going to another city to party with him. It had to be fun as all hell!

And I was so right. Sitting on standby at ORD for hours was so worth it! Even just texting and calling back and forth before I landed at Dulles was bloody entertaining. One of the first thing e does when I finally get there is put on the awesome The Cure Trilogy DVD. So that was lovely and familiar. The Cure was my first concert ever. Over my stay there were many introductions to all kinds of music. Most, I swear to you, I would never ever have in my CD playa. Korn. Slipknot. A Full Circle. DMB in Central Park. Ok i would have Dave Mathews.

The topper was the cover band that we got to see on NYE. awesome. "jerx" was the name of the band. i damn near wanted to cry when the female lead singer was doing a Maroon 5 song for sound check, i thought for sure my NYE was in ruin. (Refer to my John Mayer story - of which i still need to write apparently) Even e was threatening to replace the drummer himself during that sound check. But they totally won us over. They rocked out and covered some good shit from all over the board. They certainly had The Killers, the LBC punk/sks sound down with Sublime, 311, and No Doubt. Hot Damn if that little chica, not too much taller than me, carried off a Rage Against Machine song as the last one. So jealous.

It had me soooo sooo soooo hurting to get back on stage again. The live band karaoke stuff is just a bit of kindling that's keeping me going. What a great way to start off new year, aside from kissin' on my lovely drummer boy, just knowing that old passions never died.

Rage Against The Machine - Killing in the Name Of

Killing in the name of!
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses

Killing in the name of!
Killing in the name of
And now you do what they told ya
But now you do what they told ya
Well now you do what they told ya

Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites

Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Uggh!

Killing in the name of!
Killing in the name of
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya!
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Come on!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!

.: Happy Hew Years :.

I was just talking to someone recently about how insincere holiday greetings have become. There are people and places out there that just punctuate the end of a sentence with a "HaveAMerryChristmas" or "HappyNewYears". How dreary and jading for the folks that have to hear those phrases hundreds of times a day.

I know I get bleary-eyed at the sound it at times... so while I was Target, I never offered to say it to anyone. If it was said to me, I'd gladly respond with a "HappyHolidays" yet rarely could I back that up with sincerity. I didn't like that people put out that matzo ball of well-wishing and me totally not responding.

well with that dear friends, HAPPYNEWYEAR! Sewiously, thanks for everything, all the time, each and everytime you'd made me smile and laugh last year. And here's to an even better and more sincere new year...

Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We'll take a cup of kindness, yet
For auld lang syne