i have all sorts of little red flags going up. I could potentially be on a slippery slope. I've been hiding, not writing, working and hating it. i mean I think its a good thing that I've been busy, and that I've been making a bit more money but... i dunno there's a BIG BUT. No, I don't think its all about the work and the communting...
I'm getting all tense b/c things are going well? Does that sound as stupid as it looks? I have all these people that are literally happy/jumpy/clapping that I'm finishing up school and I'm happy about that but deep down I'm completely creeped out that I'm going to fail and disappoint them.
Not me. Me. Not me not having a career. Not me not having money. Not me not being self-sufficient finally. I'm not worried or scared about being post thirty and lame. I'm worried that I'm going to see a glance of disappointment.
Even that fear's not a great motivator. I dunno there's gotta a balance somewhere's...
All in all there's good news esp on the Avon Walk front. More on that in that blog...
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