.: It Was Fun While It Lasted :.

I got laid off.

Take This Job And Shove It - Johnny Paycheck

Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left and took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As im a walking out the door.
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more

Ive been workin in this factory
From now on fifteen years
All this time I watched my woman
Drowning in a pool of tears
And Ive seen a lot of good folk die
Who had a lot of bills to pay
I'd give the shirt right off of my back
If I had the nerve to say

Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left and took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As im a walking out the door.
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more

Well that foreman, hes a regular dog
The line boss, hes a fool
Got a brand new flat-top haircut
Lord, he thinks hes cool
One of these days, Im gonna blow my top
And that sucker, hes gonna pay
Lord I cant wait to see their faces
When I get up the nerve to say

Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
My woman done left and took all the reasons
I was working for
You better not try to stand in my way
As im a walking out the door.
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more

.: Christmas Cards :.

This year I got some Christmas cards in the mail. I guess its easier to get Christmas cards if people know where you live at any given point. Its nice to keep in touch this way during this time of IMing, blogs and flickr.

I wrote out some cards this year too. There were some cards I'd come across that I HAD to send... That and I wanted to to tell people how grateful I was for their friendship and that I am thinking of them.. It may be few and in between... but I do think, remember and smile...

If you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget me and smile
Than you should remember and be sad.
- Christina Rosseti, "Remember"

.: Simple Minds, Simple Pleasures :.

Sweet Potato Pie
Originally uploaded by uits.

I gots me a slice of sweet sweet Sweet Potato Pie, hot chocolate, and an hour of a "Pushing Daisies" that I have never seen...

life is good.

.: Merry Christmas! :.

I hope that everyone's having a great Christmas!

Per usual, I'm alone this Christmas. Its best this way. After dealing with "people" for weeks now and then being sick... I really didn't want to be all chatty face with anyone. Got to have a great Christmas Eve dinner with Anne-girl and her brother. Could barely keep up with my end of the conversation...

Right now, listening to a wonderful Christmas song compilation from dear Mr. Nichols. All my favorites in my versions! Only small thing would make it even better. Wham's "Last Christmas"!

Yet as imma makin' ma Christmas dinner (garlic potatoes, corn bread, stuffing, sweet potahtoe pie, etc.), this is the one Christmas song running through my head.

Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, ski shop,
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines.

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Christmas by myself this year.

Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to springtime, saw him again,
Would've been good to go for lunch,
Couldn't agree when we were both free,
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch.

Didn't, of course, 'til summertime,
Out to the beach to his boat could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Sunburn in the third degree.

Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards a few calls
'Cause it's r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.

Last fall I had a night to myself,
Same guy called, halloween party,
Waited all night for him to show,
This time his car wouldn't go,

Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late,
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

A&P has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot?

So on with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night grocery,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year!

"I'm spending this one alone," he said.
"Need a break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?"

Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending!

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!

.: blech :.

Nothing great to report. I haven't been writing (not even the journals) for the past few days. I went from working long hours last week to having to take the last few days off. I even had to take off in the middle of work today. Everything made me so nauseated. I suppose I could go down the short list of my poor ills. Just physically, emotionally, psychologically, and dentally hurts.

No plans for the holidays. Probably just going to do things that'll I'd love to get done. Do a bit of cooking and baking. Mostly recovering from the recovering...

.: Busy Season :.

Workin', Shoppin', Drivin', Walkin', El Train Ridin', Pet Pettin', Overtimin', and Sleepin' when I can. Busy Busy.

But always time for writing, crying, and heartaching...

Black - Pearl Jam

Hey...oooh...
Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn
Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything?
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I tear
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can, drop away
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...
All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll ever be...yeah...

Uh huh...uh huh...ooh...
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine

.: I'm Kidding Myself :.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)- My Chemical Romance

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

.: The Smartest, Cutest, Most Funniest, Couple in a Stripey Holiday GAP Ad :.

Hehehe... just found this

Hit the Will Arnett and Amy Poehler GAP Holiday Ad videos especially Video #1

I *heart* these guys. They make the holidays happier. and funnier. for inmates.

.: Snow Night :.

Oh, last night was surprisingly magical!

I've been having some very nice customers at work. Challenging but ultimately, I got them happy and they got me happy. So I didn't mind it too much walking home in the snow storm last night. The snow fell beautifully and left such a wonderful blanket for me to see. On my way home on the El, I pulled out my Creative and picked out The Darling Buds, an album I hadn't heard in a long time. Walking away from my brand new Melrose station, I skipped along. Eventually, of course, I started to dance along to the music. I even did a running slide down my sidewalk. My elderly neighbor saw me do it. I'd like to think it made him smile.

When I finally got home, well, a broom and shovel stood in our foyer. So I tool them and cleared off the steps and shoveled the sidewalk... All the while this song in my ears: Ok for once...I cannot find the lyrics I want to post...

Anyone? "Honeysuckle" from The Darling Buds?

.: Skate Key :.

Skate Key
Originally uploaded by dougalug.

Ain't that skate key impressive? I love how its even got "Chicago" on it...

I don't know why I love this song. I might have heard it while my parents had the AM on. I think some kid I knew had a pair. (Brings ya back, you old sad bastards??) I remember the song being fun and bouncy.
I got all kinds of excited when I heard it played at The California Clipper. Not as excited as having the Tamale come in with piping hot tamales. But pretty damn close.

Anyways, I always thought it was a cute and funny song till I saw these lyrics. Anyone know the original artist or song title? I can't seem to find it...

Brand New Roller Skates


I rode my bicycle past your window last night
I rollerskated to your door at daylight.
It almost seems like you're avoiding me.
I'm o.k. alone but you've got something I need...

I've got a brand new pair of rollerskates
You've got a brand new key.
I think that we should get together and try them on to see.
I been lookin around awhile, you got something for me.
I got a brand new pair of rollerskates
You got a brand new key.

I ride my bike, I rollerskate don't drive no car.
Don't go so fast, but I go pretty far.
For somebody who don't drive, I been all around the world.
Some people say I done alright for a girl.

I asked your mother if you were at home.
She said 'yes,' but that you weren't alone.
It almost seems like you're avoiding me
I'm o.k. alone but you got something I need...

.: The Clipper :.

California Clipper
Originally uploaded by larrylavanway.

Short and Sweet.

Noah and poo. -funny.
Lia and poo. -funnier.
Jokes and Haha. - damn near beer take funny.
G&T - happy.
Dandy Worhols. -happy then sad.
boob grabbing. -way funny and happy.
The Smiths. - very happy then kinda sad
Drunk Sparring. -funny, hurt, sad (about my potential for being a human weapon.)
Tamale Man. -So fucking happy words cannot explain...
Saying goodbye to Evin who insists its going to be a short 6 months. -reassuring but sad.
Saying goodbye to Kuya. -tears
Nina Simone's "My Baby Just Cares For Me" and dancing with Kuya. -priceless.

.: My Most Favoritest Thing..Ever... :.

elloo? elloo?
Originally uploaded by Galang Family.

Oh Lordy, if only I'm blessed with a kid half as cool. Annimal and I were about if we each were ever to have dull and boring kids...

An example of her coolness... She "sang" this song while sitting between her Mom and Dad. All the while eating her freeze dried peas... Now here's the thing, as her parents were doing the actual singing, she would pipe in with the last word of each line. I cried, laughed, and fell in love, all at once - Kinda like the movie this song comes from.

My Favorite Things - The Sound of Music by Rodgers and Hammerstein

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses and blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on your nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When i'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then i don't feel so bad

Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

...etc...etc

Sometimes she would finish the line before her parents and pop a pea into her mouth.

.: In Case You Were Wondering... :.

...My wrist hurts like a mutha fucker. I don't know what I did exactly to set this off at work. Suddenly, I had this piercing pain in the lateral side of my wrist. It got worse as I sliced cheese. Still hurting after wrapping. If I wasn't cutting, it was throbbing. Ah well, I got a wrist thingy. I'll ice it a tick. I really think its origin is in the shoulder... I'll work on that later too. I need a proper massage to release it. I can't do it by myself. Ok, don't read too much in those last few lines.

...the best show on TV is "Pushing Daisies". Its like "Amilie" EVERY week!

...I guess I sound like this in bed... I dunno, I wasn't paying attention...

.: @ Fizz :.

I've been up little over nineteen hours so, please, bear with me.

Tonight I was not going to go to Fizz. Actually, choosing not to go Fizz. I was tired understandably after two jobs, one starting at 7:30 in the morning. But I put on ma drinking boots and decided to go out anyways! And was it worth it. Only two dances the entire evening. I didn't even bother with taking off the boots and putting on some dance shoes. Firstly, I tapped Noah in a sparring thing we always do. He was so proud. Heard about Z's new girl. Not the best thing to listen to after a breakup but sweet nonetheless. Then I spent the rest of night talking to good good friends I haven't had a good chat with in a long time...

Now, the reason I decided to go ahead and go was this:

"I am not going to Fizz. I'm tired and exhausted. The first time is a long time.

So this makes me think, why have I gone so long and so consistently? Now the answer has to be that I am responsible for it. Things need to get paid, schedule junk, do PR. While at one point I may have complained about the responsibility, I'm more than happy to do it. Mostly because of what its done for me.

So many great songs and dances. Such amazing times on the dance floor. With dancers just coming through the city. The Pros I was terrified to ask. The inspiration to be a better dancer. Inspiration to make the most of the energy and creativity in the room. I think Fizz folks know of phenomenon where watching a certain couple dance is bloody entertaining that you want to be a part of the fun!

Its been much more than what happens on the dance floor that keeps me coming back. Its the people that I meet. The friends I have made. The happy times, unfortunate dramas, and some outright sadness are the experiences that I take away from the dance floor. And its these experiences that drive me to get on the dance floor. So many countless times when I felt like shit, a good dance or good chat saved me. So many times I was so ecstatic, I had to share with my dance partner or my friends.

I can't tell you everything that I love about Fizz. But you can see some of it on the dance floor.

Then there was the one birthday/shot jam...."

There, I put on ma boots and I was out the door...

.: Remember, Remember, Remember :.

...how this horrible, horrible, horrible feeling had past...

.: New Vocabulary :.

As most of you know, I tend to create words when my English fails me. This even I have create yet another! Introducing.... Fuckuidness

Used in a sentence: "His behaviour just added to my fuckuidness of the evening."

There you go. There it is. Like with any sort of new and unexplored science, use it, don't abuse it...

.: More Lyrics :.

I kinda miss this CD tonight. Rock Animals by Shonen Knife. Particularly this song.

Music Square - Shonen Knife

I am very happy tonight
We could be here today
I was waiting for a long time
To come to music square
When you sing the song that i love
I can't stop the beating of my heart
I don't know why

I am very happy tonight
I could be close to you
I was waiting for a long time
To come to music square

Every song i will give to you
I want you to have a merry day

I am very happy tonight
I could see the beautiful stars
I've been waiting for a long time
To come on music square

When you gently play your guitar
I can't stop the beating of my heart
I don't know why

I am very happy tonight
We could be here today
I was waiting for a long time
To come to music square

I don't know how it's going to end
But i hope that we can meet again

I am very happy tonight
I could be close to you
I was waiting for a long time
To come to music square

So come on music square

.: Kuma :.

So so So So S Cuuute. He makes me wanna puke.

Kuma is my lil sis' new puppy. He's a white lil puffball.





Nana says he's so adorable she wanted to throw him out of the window when they were driving him home.

Our family has a weird way of sharing our affection...

I'm so glad we had this time together,
Just to have a laugh or sing a song!
Seems we just get started and before ya know it,
Comes the time we have to say, "So long!"
Good Night Everybody!

.: Acupuncture Session :.

Finally.

Had my first acupuncture session tonight er yesterday at this point.

What an incredibly thorough intake session. So many key questions...

I have had a lot of information on acupuncture in the past so I knew what to expect. But I have to admit when I finally lay down for the treatment I suddenly felt panicky. Can't lie... the first three needles hurt a bit. They were in the most sensitive areas of complaint in my shoulders. My shoulders are in bad shape. Immediately, I'd felt quite a bit of pressure there. As more needles were placed around my body, my body warmed up and then chilled. I was told it was my energy finally getting moved about. At another point, a couple of needles were just plain hurting. They were removed and my practitioner used some myofascial techniques (yay!) to release the muscle a bit. Next, I was left alone in the room with light dimmed. My body went through a serious of hot flashes and chills. Finally, after some time - had no perception of how much time elapsed - they removed my needles. A bit more muscular work and I was out. I felt like I do after a heavy duty massage session. Still had the high and soreness. I did find that I had a greater range of motion. A serious improvement. I was in bad shape.

Its work. Bad body dynamics for one and then the stress that I've written about recently. Well, I've decided to stay on and just hunker down for the holidays. I've a few more projects that will bring in some cash for the holidays. That'll be nice.

I think I'll go back in the next few weeks. I want to keep working on this problem. It'll be a welcome stress reliever during the holidays. That and it'll keep me making healthier choices.

.: On Vacation :.

So i gots meself five days away from work. What am I doin'? Surprisingly enough, ALOT of stuff. The past three days I've been doing promo work. Very busy. Today knocked off alot of junk off my to-do list. All this work and busy-ness.

It truly is a nice vacation from the drama at work at the moment. And its nice to strike things off the list. And tomorrow I am NOT going to do a damn thing. Seriously.

I start up my holiday jobber this coming week and I'll probably resolve what I am going to do concerning the jab that I have now. Either way, I'm going to be a very busy girl in the net few months :)

.: Randy Pausch :.

Just saw his lecture on Oprah. I don't what to write right now... I have to find the lecture and link it but I hope to live and die like him.

.: jarvis urinal, i mean station :;

jarvis urinal, i mean station
Originally uploaded by slowerthanstop.

My dear boy's picture was chosen to illustrate a Chicagoist page!

I really think he's captured the urinal, I mean station, very well... I should know, its one the stations I have to use.

yuk.

Seriously, I've seen them hose down those stairs. You can see the flow of soap too but nothing seems to get that piss funk out of that station.

I'm pretty sure one of the reasons why he chose to take the picture was that Jarvis was listed as one of the city's worst CTA stations


I'm so proud! Of my darling boy, not the urinal.

.: No Jobber :.

Ugh. New Store Manager has threaten to fire us all unless things shape up in the market. Not a very motivating statement. He's new. He's NO idea how much the market's improved in the few months my immediate boss. So that boss has told me he's leaving. He's been so very cool and understanding about my missing work (or is letting me get away with murder.)

Imma bringing out the resume for some updating. Future is looking grim. I'll hold out as long as I can but I truly can't work in uncomfortable and stressful workplace. And a place that I'm totally losing respect for. Anytime before this job I woulda bailed ASAP.

Not happy. Never felt so very anxious about a job before...

.: Chimping Around :.

Ain't my sis a great photographer?

.: Worries :.

This an old strip from Sinfest:

Its like I'd said. I worry. Alot more than usual. Thinking of the future is new to me. I talked about it kinda with M tonight. I guess I never seem to be the one to discuss it ever. Talking to my friends from my past, it certainly the way I was perceived. And I guess it was true. I never really saw the big picture...

So in the last few days, I've been kinda down with worry. More so. What do people think of me? Will I let people down? Will they hate me/not love me anymore/lose respect for me? Will I ever truly be happy?

Cleaning through my PC, this strip is what I found. So many times I'd wished I was dead. And too many times had I worried about petty petty things. And now I appreciate that I have the chance not only to worry but to make the most of my life, my friends, my family, my love. So many times I was in horrible horrible times...

FUCK that. Imma make the world REMEMBER my ass!

.: insomnia :.

seriously.

I totally lied to Michael when he woke up and asked what I was doing.

Just can't sleep, I said.

He asked, Is everything alright?

Yeah.

No not really. I'm worrying about things I never was concerned with before. Medical appointments. Debt schedules. 401k. Benefits. Renters insurance. My car. My relationships with friends and family. Finding a new job? My future. My future with Michael? Moving? Vacation time. Traveling. Budgeting for travel. Gifts and random expenses. Returns. Groceries. Rent. Utilities. Internets. Library fines. Fizz budget, expenses, schedules. etc. etc.

meh. I guess I'm worrying about more grown up stuff and not where I am going to party next. No I worry about that too ;)

.: photography :.

i know that my pictures are lame by alot of my friends standards... Well, I got this link in the mail yesterday via a IKEA newsletter : http://www.myamericaathome.com/

I think this photography project will help me. I just really want to document my life a little better and perhaps appreciate my home more?

.: i have no words :.

Today I'd specifically promised myself not to watch TV or read the news... I've wasted days and days in the sadness of years ago... but then I'd read Mugsy's blog today and this excerpt from it:

Ogden on Yehoodi posted this on 9/11/2001, and I think he hit the nail on the head:

EVERYONE: Remember where you are today, remember your feelings as you hear the news roll in, fix it in you mind because there are not many time where you can say that you were there when the world changed. Today the world has changed, and its not pretty. We now know what Americans felt on that "Day that would live in infamy." Remember this so that you can convey it to your children and your grandchildren. And I am not being overly dramatic. The United States has been proven vulnerable today, the last time that happened we spent the next 5 years embroiled in a world war that changed the face of the world forever. When the human toll comes in the American public will give the government Carte Blanc to resolve and rettaliate as they see fit.

Make no mistake, the world tomorrow will be a different place than the world today. What will come of this? Who can say? But whatever the results, good or bad, remember it, freeze it in your mind, so you can say you were there the day the world changed, and you can remember the way it was.

...and sure I'm crying but its good...its good to remember...

.: Meaning :.

Just ran across this blurb on Alan Alda's new book, Things I Overheard While Talking To Myself. There is an excerpt if you scroll down a bit... I really enjoyed his first book, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is hi-larious and pretty insightful. As in this first chapter of his new book on this NPR report.

.: Day Off :.

Its been a long while since I've had I day to myself. On my days off from the market, I've been working marketing jobbers.

Finally, got some errands done: laundry, reorganizing my room, doing my receipts, catching up on writing to friends and family. (Hi Andrew!) And now some writing, maybe I'll even get some artwork done. Soon, I'll be meeting up with Frances and then get my haircut with a hair modeling gig. I have no idea what the haircut is going to turn out. Trio Salon always gives me a cut I love...

Accomplishing stuff... makes me feel good!

.: Birthday Weekend One:.

Thank you guys for all the birthday wishes!!

I've had such a wonderful birthday (so far)...

It started out at California Clipper with Michael to catch Fulton County Line, an awesome band if you can catch them! They're a witty group that plays awesome "County and Western" - ized rock/pop songs alond with the country classics. Aimee and Lucky joined us soon after along with Olivier. Got some great dances! Frances and Ed came along too! Frances then went to chat with the band.

Turns out she asked the band to play my favorite song they play...Modern English's "Melt with You" and directly afterwords "Happy Birthday"!!

Finally, Jer, Erin, and Aaron gave me a few more dances...

Sunday, tho I had to work, it was incredibly slow until the very end when we got SLAMMED. So I went home pretty tired. Michael and I went to Smokin' Woody's and ate ALOT of meat. yum.

Monday, I ended up trying to replace my phone as I had lost it somewhere b/t my place and the restaurant. Boo. But the party at Fizz was WAAY fuun.. Esp. when Anne was laughing HYSTERICALLY playing with SpongeBob Squarepants cake. And BOMB Birthday Jam with John and Kristine too!

Any ideas what I should do for Birthday Weekend Two? Karaoke, perhaps?

.: Eve of My Birth :.

Yeah, so I'm writing from work but in my small interactions during the last couple of days...I"m just so happy to be alive and with friends and family...

I'll be at the California Clipper tonight if'n anyone wants to celebrate!

OH! And at Fizz on Monday! Its a DoubleMintz Birthday Jam for me and Anne's twin birthday...I'm bringing the cake!

.: You've Come A Long Way, Baby :.

Met up with a couple of dancers I hadn't seen in YEARS and after a bit of chat it was as though time hadn't past.

Things have changed in these last few years and its shocked my friends. A job? A boyfriend? No plans for traveling? I was talking about expectations and responsibilities?

Then after having dinner with Nana, its kinda impressive what has changed in the last year. I done good.

Now with my birthday coming up in a week... its weird growing up...

.: Lovely Picture :.

chicago june 07 0242
Originally uploaded by slowerthanstop.

Michael and I took a walk around the city one day. We both brought our respective cameras. His is WAY cooler.

So he's finally put them up on his flickr account. This one is my favorite. We'd found this statue peeking out of this second story window of a coach house (?) on Chicago's List of Historic Buildings.

Meant to do more taking picture/walking days. Just haven't gotten around to it
:(

.: BFs CD :.

Lights Out Asia, my dearest's band, had their new CD released a few weeks ago! I think you can even buy it, Tanks and Recognizers, on Amazon. I am immensely proud of him. Well, I'm finally going to see him play live on August 18th in Milwaukee. Going to Milwaukee not for dancing...should be interesting.

Funny, he's seen me at all that I love to do - mostly dancing - but I've never seen him doing what he really enjoys... I can't wait...

.: Hella Kitty :.

via tdj

.: Missing Vinyl :.

Right now, right at this moment, I'm listening to Kate Bush's Hounds of Love album on LONG PLAYING format.

I'd dug a pile of my old albums from out of the side attic and in it I found Kate Bush again. I forgot how much I used to play this album. Again and again on my nasty green portable LP player. Luckily, unicorn has a phonograph. Lordy, I feel ancient just typing "phonograph".

I'd actually fallen upon Kate Bush's work .. you I don't know how exactly but I know I had the 'This Woman's Work" CD. I'll always say that album is remarkably autobiographical for me. Explains alot about me and what I've experienced...

Most recently, I'm discovering songs that sample Kate Bush's work or worse there is a cover of this song... I could cry...


Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) - Kate Bush


"If I only could, I'd be running up that hill.
If I only could, I'd be running up that hill."

It doesn't hurt me.
Do you want to feel how it feels?
Do you want to know know that it doesn't hurt me?
Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?
You, it's you and me.

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh...

You don't want to hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware I'm tearing you asunder.
Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.

Is there so much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
You, it's you and me.
It's you and me won't be unhappy.

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building,
Say, if I only could, oh...

You,
It's you and me,
It's you and me won't be unhappy.

"C'mon, baby, c'mon darling,
Let me steal this moment from you now.
C'mon, angel, c'mon, c'mon, darling,
Let's exchange the experience, oh..."

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems.

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems.

And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems.

If I only could
Be running up that hill
With no problems...

"If I only could, I'd be running up that hill.
If I only could, I'd be running up that hill."

.:My Cat Hates Me :.

Sleeping Roy Boy
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

And probably for good reason. That's not even her in the picture. That's Roy.

She's Dulce... I'd had her for a few years while in Chambana and then up to Chicago when I moved back. Then as I was moving place to place, a lovely dancer took and treated her so well... I must seem like a poor replacement as she's had to let Dulce go since she got a new dog.

But its tough splitting my attention between her and Roy. I'm at the Unicorn's almost half of the week...

It doesn't help that she's so horribly shy and neurotic. See, I can never get a picture of her. Augh... she just hissed at me for apparently petting her too much while I'm on the computer.

Imma going to make a horrible mother.

.: New Junk :.

I've let time on this blog lapse quite a bit...

Unicorn is out of town for a tic so maybe I'll actually get some stuff done? I have been busy lately with work and fixing up the new place...I've even gotten darling Dulce back from a friend that has been holding on to her for me for years...

I'll have pictures of all these things up on my flickr. At least that is my goal. I still have to wait for Dulce to crawl out from her hiding place is one thing...

I also mean to get some artwork done. m's going to be taking some classes this summer and I've got some ideas of my own I'd like to see come into existence. I have to knock off more stuff from the 25 list. The year is passing so quickly...

.: The Year So Far :.

Just spent a coupla hours chatting with Hedds. Funny, how much has changed in the last year. There was a point a few months ago that I was worried that we would never speak to each other.

Aside from that... Over the past year, I've gotten a job with bennies. I have my own place with a very nice roomie. I live in a great neighborhood. I love it! The unicorn is even better than I could have ever expected. Sure I have all this little concerns and worries about all kinds of other stuff. But after all the craziness, drama, and moodiness, all my little petty worries I know are just that and will pass.

I have so many other new goals to work on for the rest of the month. Sticking to my budget diet. Keeping up my healthier habits. Doing my writing and more artwork. The end of the year is going to be even better!

.: @ CUBE :.

tessa and michael
Originally uploaded by ohtoberich.

I don't how Rich does it but he *always* takes pictures of me and Michael looking at each other. This time it was while we dancing at the Saturday Late Night.

This was certainly a high point of CUBE. I was so busy with work I couldn't make it to Grant Park to the actual BluesFest. Then for the late nights I was just a waste. Thursday night was nice swapping great stories with Chris (normally of Knoxville now of DC) over a homemade dinner instead of going to the meet and greet. I missed out on Friday entirely.

Saturday night at Links Hall. bomb. Just like last year. Loved Lippy's set. He'd recorded his set off of a mixer and is selling it. I can get you a copy if you want to email me. A little frustrating because I felt a bit alone in taking care of the venue. I certainly was when it came to closing. No, credit is due to the handful of hard core dancers at down and the last DJ, Doberman.

I was a waste for work the next day. Luckily, my co-workers knew what was up and told me to just go back to sleep. I crawled out of the house to get to Richard's for the last hurrah. mmmm...so many yummy leads... so many I hadn't danced with in such a long time...

.: unicorn :.

I heart Overheard in New York sometimes.

Mine Was in Death of a Salesman -- What about You?

Queer #1: In seventh grade I was the unicorn in the school play.
Queer #2: Oh my god! You were the unicorn? What play? I was the unicorn! Oh my god!
Queer #3: No fucking way! I was the motherfucking unicorn, too! This is fucking crazy!
Queer #1: I know! I can't believe we were all fucking unicorns!

--Hollywood Diner, 16th & 6th

via Overheard in New York, Jun 10, 2007

.: CUBE :.

ugh.

that's pretty much it for now.

.: Ahem ... :.

I NOW HAVE INTERNETS!!!

...that is all...

.: Tasty :.

Ok. So at my jobber I get to try and taste all kinds of foods, mostly cheese. I also get to try wines too. but under the radar, when a wine person wants to share a particular wine.

A few days ago I finally was recruited for an offical tasting in the store. Wine dealers will come in to show off their wares. One of the wine guys came into the market to ask me to try some Champagne.

T'was my first taste of VINTAGE Champagne. And it was yummy. And it was served by this awesomely French French guy. And here's the seriously dorky part of it. It reminded me of my favorite cheese.

People, it was like feeling cool and wet and the "water" sign... AND BAM I understood. All these years of drinking and abusing wine never did I understand what the big deal was about tasting wine. Only after all this time knowing what I liked and did not like about about cheese (and I ate alot of different kinds of cheeses.) could apply this new appreciation of taste and flavor to wine.

ok lemme brag a tic. First taste, 1988 reserve. Glorious. Reminded me of everything I love about food. Second taste, 1985 Rose Champagne. I actually could discern between the grapes. Wow.

ok that and I finally moved into my new place. Two important things. My life is awesome.

.: BluesSHOUT update:.

unleashed fury
Originally uploaded by ohtoberich.

Finally. I have time to write about this past weekend.

Only because the dance exchange weekend bug bit my in the but. Hard. I called off today. I'm not that sore anymore but I caught something flu-like. So much for getting moved in this week...

So yeah, bluesSHOUT weekend... not the same fury as it was last Cheap Thrills. Alot of it because I was under the weather. I may have been sick throughout the weekend but vitamins and Emergence-C may have staved it off till now.

Started with a great discussion about blues dancing and teaching blues dancing. Very informative. Also gave me the ease to speak with many of the instructors that weekend for ideas and feedback.

Met up with alot of old friends. Some even older than expected. Like a dancer from NYC that I'd met atleast 7 years ago. Of course, I figure out that it is him on the last night.

Made alot new friends especially in my ultra-neato housing arrangement. I like how we all got together around the stove as I was cooking a hearty breakfast. ( I made a wicked strawberry sauce when we realized we didn't have much maple syrup. On the fly!) Then we spent a good chunk of time discussing ideas and philosophies about blues dancing and lindyhop. Very dance nerd but one of my favorite points of the weekend.

Can't say I wasn't disappointed that I didn't final in any of my contest. But each was definitely fun and I got my dance time on the floor. One was hilarious and I think it was captured on tape. The other became an interesting feedback/conversation about our performance together. My favorite contest was the readon I even got to go to bluesSHOUT. The Champions JnJ. Got matched up with Andrew this year and boy, was that fun! That and I got to wear my new red heels. I got them to kinda spite Damon but it got quite the reaction from the crowd. WOOT!

Again well, organized. If I saw any flaws, they were fixed quickly and quietly. Makes me proud to be part of this community. I hope that I'll be able to bring some of that to Chicago - one day...

PS I don't know why Rich always seems to catch me with some violent pose towards the camera... but grows on me more and more...

.: BluesSHOUT :.

wow. More later. So very tired.

.: Flake :.

Its a Jack Johnson song. I didn't know what it was. I'm sure that I'd heard it some point with Hedds, who is huge fan.

But I heard it tonight at work and my heart kinda ached. I can't live in limbo. Suddenly, my patience is gone. I can't wait much longer.

Flake - Jack Johnson

I know she said it's alright
But you can make it up next time
I know she knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe maybe she thinks its fine
Maybe she knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down

I know she loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes
And I know that when she said she's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't want to break 'em, nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em
Maybe she'll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie too

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go

The harder that you try baby, the further you'll fall
Even with all the money in the whole wide world
Please please please don't pass me
Please please please don't pass me
Please please please don't pass me by

Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change
You gonna have to call it by a brand new name
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me down

Just like a tree down by the water baby I shall not move
Even after all the silly things you do
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me down

.:Bitch Y'all :.

I dunno. I know I shouldn't be drinking a snit but today...today I wanted a glass. Not just to be social, not be for a tasting, I wanted to feel a buzz. So picked me up a bottle Bitch Granache 2005. I've been wanting to bust into bottle for a few months now after a tasting at the shop. So the time is now along with some brie, baguette and Grey's Anatomy (I really really dislike Meredith). sigh.

I was anxious all day long. The shootings at Virginia Tech has me so on edge. I can't bear hearing more. I refuse to sit down in front of the media and take it all in. I'd opened up a newspaper at work tonight and I wanted to just sit down and cry. I don't know why I let these things affect me. The anniversary of 9/11 gets me on edge.

I'm just worried about alot of little things at once.

I shouldn't be I've alot of good things going for me. Awesome jobber. Awesome other jobbers. Awesome unicorn. Safe places to be. Great friends. Good safety nets. I'm taking are of my health more. I'm generally writing more (not in the last couple of weeks).

One glass. Then some sleep. I'm sure I'll be loads better in the morning.... IF I wake up early enough I'll write more before work...

.: Happy Easter 2007 :.

nana sent this to me.



hmmm...mebbe I should do some egg dyeing. Mebbe I should hit up some cathedral for some Easter Mass. I've no plans outside of working on Sunday. Boo.

.: Dancy Dance at Fizz :.

chris and roxy's engagement dance
Originally uploaded by ohtoberich.

What a great night at Fizz tonight!

Maybe its my renewed excitement recently or maybe it was the loads and loads of people on the dance floor. I really really like what the DJs had to offer tonight and had a few great dances. I loved the folks that I got to socialize with tonight too!

Things are turning around and I'm incredibly thankful. The only down point was that since I'd lost my TWO pairs of dance shoes in San Francisco I had crappy shoes to dance with tonight. Ok that and the humidity had the floor kinda sticky tonight. Must get more dance wax....

oh and about the picture: Its from Chris and Roxy's Engagement Dance. I'm dancing with Chris and Roxy is the chica in the background with her hand up. That was last week. That was fun!

.: Defending Myself :.

I have been witness to some strange politics over the last few weeks. It has kinda made me sad. Until I found myself having to defend myself. I don't know that I had to actually had to defend myslef from any sort of attck. Let's say instead that I felt I had to defend my own worth to the dance community.

Strange. I've been burnt out and blase lately. Then I have to feel defensive and now I'm raging passionate. Taking my classes more seriously. Taking Fizz more seriously. Wanting to delve into the history of lindy hop and blues more seriously. I want to be more serious. And now I have to hear this bullshit?

Whatever. I've been through this mill before. Its not a big deal.

.: emotional :.

do not resuscitate
Originally uploaded by slowerthanstop.

This is a piece that the unicorn is working on as part of an art project with the kids. I love it. It's much more emotional that any other pictures he takes. The title is so dramatic. Funny. He got it off of a bumper sticker.

.:Fidelity:.

I don't know what to write as I post this. I fell in love with the video ages ago. Regina Spektor reminds me of Nellie McKay. And her words break my heart, it breaks my heart.

It also has to make me wonder what my life would be like without the boy these last few months... would I have saved my life from some heartache? Would I have experienced all that I have? Would I have moved out and on? Would my heart be as full?

Fidelity - Regina Spektor

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heartb

.: Old Schoolers at Green Dolphin :.

Old Schoolers at Green Dolphin
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

One night, after the holidays, I went to Green Dolphin Street. I was going to meet an old friend. It turns out to be a phat PHAT reunion of my favorite old school dancers.

As I look at this picture, just about every single person has made a huge impact on my life. I can think of some incredibly happy memories. I can also remember the horrible times these friends help me survive.

Though, I'd only had two whole dances that night, its made me super excited to go out and dance. I'm thinking part of my recent burnout is not having a strong emotional connection with the other dancers...

Heh...or I hadn't been on swing trips like I had with all of these guys :D

.:ALH Rules!!!:.

WCLX203
Originally uploaded by Shaugran.

Sweet Jebus!!

This is a historical photograph that I didn't think existed anymore. THE Meeting of the Alcoholic Lindyhoppers at WCLX2!

There is Scott Grey too! We've got ALH reps from Boston (TheCook!), from CT (SteveRoberts) and San Fran (E-Man)...

Someone out there hasto help me identify everyone and their postitions in ALC!!!

(there's Shaugran peeking out from the back!)

.: Art Works :.

So, over the last week or so I've rediscovered old sketchbooks and my old portfolio.

Damn. I was good. Was. Not all the time. But mostly.

I blame MR. Suddenly, I have to dig out all my old stuff.

And he set me on this project to paint his door. Its sucking pretty hard at the moment but I'll get some mometum going again and finish it. I'm a little intimidated after seeing the artwork his students produce and the resources from which they get to create this incredible artwork.

So doing more sketching everyday.

Mebbe I'll create something actually worth really working on. We'll see.

That and Body Worlds 2 is at the Museum of Science and Industry. I'm SOOOO there.

.: For Mandapance :.

one of two things that I actually accomplished in 2006 list.

So there. To be done in 2006. That and Manda and I are going to grinning happy morons by the end of this year. - 29 december 2005

Suckas.

.: Coming into the New Year :.

making a statement
Originally uploaded by ohtoberich.

I've been so out of practice of blogging. I'm not sure what to write about. I've been journaling crap so that's still good. Ooo.. how's about how excited I am that there are TV characters with my first name! My name, which is not Ever Ever found on those personalized cups or pencils, mentioned on TV.

Though I don't know how excited I can get over some California girl in a reality show. But I am excited that my name is mentioned on Law and Order SVU!! Love ma L&O...

I guess its a little easier to get excited over other people's - or even characters. I've had too much drama going on in my life at the moment. More specifically over the last month. Don't care to go into detail so imma going to use the Mandapance format.

1. Snagged me a unicorn. A real honest to Manda unicorn.

2. Got into a HUGE misunderstanding with my sister - HUGE. I can only say "misunderstanding" now.

3. Created a rift with the family and made them worry. I suck.

4. Had an awesome job over the holiday season. Lost the job because well, I was seasonal. Boo on that.

5. Spent the holidays mostly alone - self inflicted. Though I did get to see Little Miss Sunshine Christmas day with friends. And hung out with the sweetest dog Evah. Awesome.

6. Missed boyfriend for two whole weeks. Another boo.

7. Moved around to different friends places every two weeks or so. Exhausting.

8. Locked key in car and ran battery down all in consecutive days. Brilliant!

9. Car accident brings -almost- everyone in the family back together.

Fin.

I think that's all of it. I promise that I'll write more later er. how's about I just promise to write....

Happy New Year all!