.: Sadness :.

There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness. -Pearl S. Buck

Can't write much at the moment perhaps this weekend. Just a very very sad time for me. Not depressed. Just sad.

.: Borat :.

I could go on and on about how this movie had me screaming and in tears of laughter. Then I read this blog:

"BORAT: A PREDICTION

Make no mistake about it: "Borat" is locked and loaded, ready to invade the public consciousness. Get ready to say goodbye to it.

When "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" is released tomorrow, there will be a short window of time, from about 6pm on Friday to about 10pm on Sunday, when the film's impact will sit in perfect equilibrium with both its mass appeal and its comic potency. "The hip eclipse", let's call it. I say 10pm because somewhere in Oxnard, CA, 7pm local time, a young Friday's waiter will deliver a plate of Jack Daniel's Chicken Strips and punctuate it with the phrase "You laaaaaaiik!!!!!". This will be the first sign of the "Borat" outbreak - what will eventually be transmitted through contact with co-workers, on airplanes and in casinos, and GOOD LORD, in bars everywhere.

It won't be the fault of the movie, and it certainly won't be the fault of Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat's creator. It will be due to a society set up to adopt, consume and then divorce a trend in dizzying time. The infrastructure is ripe for it, a now perfectly balanced sphere of blogs, critiques, and various other forms of media with which to hijack the trend. Borat impressionists will appear on youtube, and a home-made mega-mix of lines from the movie will be cobbled together by a 14 year old and placed incongruously atop a house drum beat. It will be an internet sensation. And while Dayton, Ohio greets it, the Lower East Side will have already eulogized it. If you don't believe me when I say we will kill it by hugging it too hard, look at what happened to Brokeback Mountain - "I wish I could quit you" became a ready-mixed punch line for months, and it wasn't even trying. (Even the word "brokeback" itself came to be an out of the box bon mot.) We've been waiting for the next "WAY!" and "NOT!" for a long time. And we're about to get it in the form of "high five!" and "wa-wa-wee-wah!"

And if you're still wondering what leg I have to stand on with this, just remember: I was truly hip for three weeks back in 2001.

Yakshimesh!!!!

POSTED BY JOHN MAYER AT 06:34 PM FROM SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA"

And you know what? John Mayer is right. Only that Borat will still be funnier longer than John Mayer was hip in 2001.

.: Roxy Music/Bryan Ferry :.

Hearing alot of Bryan Ferry and Roxy Music as of late...

Ack. I think I left my Roxy Music Greatest Hits CD in New Orleans. I should get it back when Real Deal Neal comes to visit over the holidays...

This one I'd heard on the Lost in Translation Soundtrack sung by Bill Murray...

More Than This - Roxy Music

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they´re blowing
As free as the wind
And hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning
More than this - there is nothing
More than this - tell me one thing
More than this - there is nothing
It was fun for a while
There was no way of knowing
Like dream in the night
Who can say where we´re going
No care in the world
Maybe i´m learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning
More than this - there is nothing
More than this - tell me one thing
More than this - there is nothing

.: Patience :.

I was never a very patient person. Hell, I'm probably not still. But I think I'm starting to see the benefit of it.

I'm apt to fall headlong into many things and for somethings its a blessing, my enthusiasm. I can get all excited about something but then the burning passion of it all turns to ash. I think I'm finding that a slow steady burn creates a better light and fire.

Just recently I think I've been more patient with myself than usual. I'm not getting as anxious about things and situations. If I can pause for just a second, I can breathe and wait the anxiety out.

That and being with patient with other people... well... its worth it.

.: i hate... :.

I really really really hate feeling stupid. And I feel stupid.

.: Burnt Out :.

Its official. I'm hitting the leg of my lindy hop marthon where I get a cramp...

I'm on my way to Fizz last night and I realize. I don't want to go. Really. Its the best night of the year for Fizz and I do not want to be there. Anything else and I'd crawl under the covers and tell everyone else to fuck off. This is how much I love Fizz. I go.

And I'm kinda glad I did. Noah and Evin were there. So after a few minutes of comisserating, I pull myself up by those ever popular bootstraps and get to it. Wouldn't you know it, its not only is it incredibly poplulated last night, it was the most work intensive night I could imagine. It didn't help that Lippy called me stupid in front of every one. Sigh. Or that people were telling me how to do my job. Sigh.

But it only proved what I was thunking for the last week. I'm burnt out again. Its happened more than once in the past so I know what I'm talking about. And I can't even blame this one on a boy. Sure, I guess I could but I'm not going to.

This is hard for me to describe outside of taking some of my most passionate dance blog entries like this and this one and definitely this one and just enter: bleh. I could cry.

I don't know what to do about this one...

.: Hello! Goodbye... :.

Ever kind of get all excited about someone you haven't seen for a while? Then its not as exciting as it was before? Its not as exciting as you remember?

My tacklehugs... My Atomic Bomb of a Hello... I've realized I give them out much less than I used to do. Sure I go freak wild on an Exchange weekend. But then it eventually gets down to chatting about the real stuff and not just the excitement of, I dunno, the initial dance (?). Its a good thing the tacklehugs are a load of happy in themselves :)

I missed a fundraiser BBQ this weekend. Primarily, because I didn't want to have the real life conversations after the enthusiatic hello. It'd be a great big "Hello, how are you?" and then you actually have to talk about how you are... most probably in a fake happy kind of way. I'm not happy with ma stuff at the moment. How can I fake happy with that? This is the same explaination for missing a number of weddings this summer too...

Saying goodbye was something else that came up this weekend. It sometimes sucks and sometimes it never really ends. Hmm.. for the instantaneous slam of a tacklehug.. when I really get attached to someone I'm never very good about letting go. I've had to more recently... I think I'm getting the hang of it... getting better at saying goodbye.

Tonight I watched this dance performance at Links Hall (and it was NOT lindy related). Aside from the great admiration of the human body and its movement, I saw the complexity of relationships. I saw the comparison and contrast of bodies being together and being without the other. It was really very sensual and emotional. I think I'm losing some of that with Lindy Hop recently. Not sure why, just know I'm not ready to say goodbye...

(Dear Dev, I miss you...)

.: Good Saturday :.

Had a great morning after a great night of pumpkin carving, Sleepy Hollow and Spicy Spiked Cider (see photo for my punkin creation)... Went shopping with my sister... Loving the new Target in the neighborhood... It gets better...

Take MR for a ride on a a gray gray day to Rotofugi to help him do research for an art project for the kids. Ends up buying a toy for himself. Gets us passes for a free show at the Metro. Went to see Airiel but got my socks knocked off by an amazingly tight show from Office. Fantatic show all around. Ears ringing, we walked to a bus stop in the rain to dance to music pumping from taxi cabs. Then back to watch V for Vendetta (finally! Scarier than the Halloween movies I've been seeing as of late...) Finally its Sunday and I have to wake up in a few hours to make a grand impression at 2nd interview (which I think I ROCKED - more on that later...)

Its weird having a weekend with no dancing...but its good.

Oh yeah... Here are the words we were looking for...

Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet

I want to love somebody
I hear you need somebody to love
Oh i want to love somebody
I hear you're looking
For somebody to love

'cause you need to be back
In the arms of a good friend
And i need to be back
In the arms of a girlfriend

I didn't know nobody
And then i saw you coming my way
Oh i didn't know nobody
And then i saw you coming my way

Don't you need to be back
In the arms of a good friend?
Oh 'cause honey believe me
I'd sure love to call you
My girlfriend
[solo]

Don't you need to be back
In the arms of a good friend?
Oh 'cause honey believe me
I'd sure love to call you
My girlfriend

'cause you
Got a good thing going baby
You only need somebody to love
Oh you got a good thing going
You're only looking
For someone to love
'cause you need to get back
In the arms of a good friend

And i'm never gonna set you free
No i'm never gonna set you free

.: Dancing Dreamily :.

Tessa and Philippe 9055
Originally uploaded by ohtoberich.

Lately I've been closing my eyes more while I've been dancing... this picture just proves it. It occured to me at the Strom workshop that maybe I try too hard. I do. I tend to try hard to impress my partner.

Dancing with Phillippe (pictured) it was obvious. (He was one of my most favorite dancers from WCLX. Luckily he and the other Quebecers stuck around Chicago a little bit longer...)

He had all these fun tricks. All these bells and whistles. For awhile I was just trying to keep up with him. I don't know that I made any sort of impression at all. Then It occured to me that I should just keep it simple. So I closed my eyes again.

Alot more fun that way. Makes a dreamy dance even dreamier.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

.: Merci, Phillippe :.

I meet a dancer at WCLX and he sends me this. Those Canadians are a riot. (Sorry. Quebecers!)

SO NOT SAFE FOR THE OFFICE!


Via: VideoSift

.: Too Much :.

Too much fun, too much coffee, too much wine on an empty stomach, too less sleep, never enough dancing.... all worth it with a brief time at dawn at the Lake. Party goes on at Fizz tonight...

Chicago Workshop Routine

Took Peter Strom's Workshop one sunday morning after being out at a party till 4am. Yeah, I'm insane... and this rountive was hella fun...

.: When You Were Young :.

I've been hearing this song alot lately. I wonder if there's going to be one day that I'll finally grow up...

When You Were Young - The Killers

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now ... here he comes!

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young

Can we climb this mountain
I don't know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now, watch it go

We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes
and see the place where you used to live
When you were young

They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet
You don't have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young
(He talks like a gentlemen, like you imagined when)
When you were young

I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But more than you'll ever know

.: blog :.

yeah, its been awhile...

I don't even know what to tell you. I've been busy being a butt. No writing but much watching of Footballers Wives. And reading of this blog. ok, I'll think of something else for y'all to read... (Hi Casey!!)

.: At the very, very least :.

...a quick list that I'll expand upon later...

- my new birthday/boys suck haircut.. pics soon... biting memories of last birthday..
- Milk and cookies with nana and eric
- Great first birthday weekend
- i <3 karaoke... i know, imma a hypocrite.. but i can still rock a room.
- Fulton County Line dedicated my favorite song of theirs to me. More later.
- My Pops, miracle worker
- "what's my age again? What's my age again?"
- Hot Adam rocks my face... among other things...
- I can be such a butt.
- Mmmmm.. cadavers...
- Second birthday weekend - even better
- Deep Chicago Rythym Owls at the Clipper - even more friends
- First of Milwaukee Michael
- MORE KARAOKE!!!!!!!!!!
- went home, not home home, till 6 in the morn.
- Naked for most of this week.

that's all for now folks!

.: Worn Me Down :.

I'm so exhausted in so many many ways. Been depressed these last few days So very tired I can't get the words out. Can't get the relief in these tears and words now. So I'll refer to another's love's spent meanwhile I'll try to sleep but know I can't.

Worn Me Down - Rachael Yamagata

Gone - she's gone.
How do you feel about it?
That's what I thought.
You're real torn up about it.
And I wish you the best
I could do without it
And I will because you've worn me down
Oh, I will because you've worn me down

Worn me down like a road.
I did everything you told.
Worn me down to my knees.
I did everything to please you.
But you can't stop thinking about her.
No, you can't stop thinking about her.

And you're wrong. You're wrong.
I'm not overreacting.
Something is off.
Why don't we ever believe ourselves?
And I, oh I, I feel it more for you.
And I will because you've worn me down.
And I will because you have worn me down.

Worn me down like a road.
I did everything you told.
Worn me down to my knees.
I did everything to please.
But you can't stop thinking about her.
No, you can't stop thinking about her.

She's so pretty.
She's so damn right.
But I'm so tired of thinking about her, again, tonight.

Worn me down like a road.
I did everything you told.
Worn me down to my knees.
I did everything to please you.

Worn me down like a road.
I did everything you told me to do.
But you, you can't stop thinking about her.
No, you can't stop thinking about her.
No, you can't stop thinking about her.
No, you can't stop thinking of her.

.: Bri and I :.

100_0673m
Originally uploaded by jittercliff.

This here is b.lang and I dancing during the Jack and Jill Contest at the 2006 Cowtown Jamborama in Omaha, NE. We'd made the cut for finals. Then we found ourselves matched up as partners... AND ROCKIN' OUT. It was a bit difficult to do at almost 300 bpm ( I was told it was under 300 but alot of other folks thought it was much faster.) For all my talk about blues dancing, you should know dear reader that there are times that Fast Lindy terrifies me. This was one of those instances. I was begging b.lang to just put me in spins of something b/c I could not do a solid fast swingout. But he'd insisted and away I flew. A different kind of flying than what I'd prefer but something that makes me want to look into it more.... AFTER I recover all this life energy spent this weekend.

Anywho, Bri and I placed second. We were just on the phone today reviewing how we got placed second but I feel as though we won. If only because everyone and all the appluase made me feel the rockstar.

.: catch-up :.

wow. tis been a while hasn't it?

Anywho, real quick. Been busy on A's screenplay and other writings. Car may be dead but Pops is trying to revive it. Busy with marketing junk, fake shopping, and Naked. Busy in SLC with JT being treated like a queen. Queen Tessa. Nice ring to it tho I don't know of a one in history.

Going to Omaha this weekend. More dancy and visiting bri-guy. Little coincedence that JT is going to be there too.

Packed next week with more marketing events. Trying to get the house in order for when my sis gets home and ma birthday weekend.

Reminds me, ma bitches, karaoke going on for my birthday eve. Hidden Cove after 11p. Bring it.

.: Travelin :.

bin of banned items at san jose airport
Originally uploaded by popvulture.

Wow. I get to look forward to this?

I understand after what's happened yesterday this course of action is necessary. And I am very willing to go through the trouble of packing for the flights I've booked most recently. And I'm willing to come to the airport hours before I fly. What frustrates me most is the the fear and paranoia that comes out of these terrorist attempts.

I'd had an awful dream of Heathrow last night. It was mainly a flashback to my stay there in the days after 9/11. The fear of having to find out from my little internet kiosk that any of my friends in New York were hurt. There was loneliness of thinking that I would lose contact with friends and family in the States and that I would never make it home..

I dreamt clearly of fear and sadness when I'd seen the cover of a London newspaper. There were pictures of people jumping from the buildings. I'd stood there for what seemed to be hours not exactly comprehending what was in front of me.

I don't know that I'm fully understanding what is before me now...

.: Sistas Gray :.

Nana messed with one of the pictures from the Wedding in Hawaii. This is now my favorite pictures of us. Usually a picture of the three involves us being upside down or everyone sticking their tongues out. Um... I think we're growing up and stuff? I think I'm going to have to get this one printed up and framed for all of us...

.: Write :.

hmmm... firstly you are probably wondering what that little box to just to the right is. Its meebome! You put in a lil line in there and it gets to me via meebo if I'm online. Consider it instant commenting!

I'm soo diggin on the meebo. The Unicorn introduced it to me ages ago. Now its the only IM that use. That and its cute.

So about writing recently... I've been journaling a lot more. Its nice to put pen to paper again. In the right environment, journaling makes it much easier to sketch out ideas for art work or other projects. Plus it gives me a place to write things I don't particularly care to share. I realize I could just go back to my LJ and put a lockdown on my entries... but its not the same. I'm realizing I've more readers than I'd originally considered. Part of the reason I've put up the meebome. I want to be able to dialouge more about what I write here.

However, I'm also realizing that my blog is open to prying eyes into my life and into my friends and family's lives. Its a shame that what I write can cause harm without that being the intention. Not even close.

I am, however, helping A rewrite his fiction. Hopefully, preproduction for his film will start shortly so we can get it in the can this Fall. Its strange rewriting. I feel a as though I'm taking liberty with something that just may be well left alone. But A and myself have collaborated for so long I don't see how I can be too far off the mark. Plus, he's very willing to tell me when I am wrong. Teamwork, its a good thing....

.: If I Lay Here :.

You know those gawdawful mornings that start with your sister pissed off at you? Those mornings where you know you are going to be cranky? Those mornings that are only the beginning of a horrible, horrible day? Those mornings where you are sure the day will end just as bad as it began? ...Only to hear some joke about an octopus and a bagpipe which turns your day around? Well, I had one of those mornings.

Its also one of those mornings, I wish I could just lay about in bed. But without someone here to share it with, its kinda pointless..

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

.: Ok Go - Here It Goes Again Video :.

Almost... almost... going to knock off A-Ha's "Take On Me" for my favourite video...evah. I just have to wonder at how many hours and hours it took to get that all at once. I would love to see the Making of This Video...

.: In the Voice of Mandabelle :.

1> There is more than one Unicorn. And he found me.
2> A little less sleep can be a good thing.
3> I'd missed Manda. Balls, damnbit.

.: Good Times. Good Times :.

Last night I got the chance to hang out with a dancer from long ago. It was wonderful. It was so nice to bring back old memories and catching up on things, too. And nice it is too to fall into old habits...

D was always my "weekend boyfriend". I didn't bother with a real one as I always out of town traveling to exchanges and stuff anyways. Attentive and affectionate, D was the perfect boyfriend without all the work. More specifically, when I would have to go grocery shopping to feed the troops, D would help out. To the untrained eye, we looked very much like a couple shopping together. We would be refering to a list together closely, sending each other off to find things, then calling out "honey" up and down the aisles only to pair up again. Then we'd be all huggy or holding hands at the checkout line.

And that was how it was again last night. So easy and comfortable, just to hug each other. Holding hands as we stepped out to the dance floor. And then the dancing. we'd changed our styles over the years but I still felt a good connection though we were a little off. If that makes any sense at all...

Good times though, good times...

.: First Night of Tango :.

The first night of many, I hope...

I seemed to get the gist of it pretty easily. But as the Unicorn has said follows have it alot easier. With some pointers from M, I was on the dance floor.

So let me try to capture how fascinated with this dance I'd become. Its been very rare that I watch other dancers so intently. I try to break down the dance to little nuances. And there are many. Even trying to capture the attitude of each dance along with each song. Then there is the connection... much like what I love about blues dancing. In blues dancing, I adore the feel of the immediate intmacy, the closeness of the bodies, then the undulating momentums of the various types of connections. For tango, the changes of connection rarely ever happens. There is a constant forcefulness of the bodies that, perhaps, just makes a greater impression when the bodies are finally released.

The Unicorn and I are planning on making Wednesdays tango night a regular event as oppposed to GDS. I look forward to learning an entirely new dance. Funny, tho Jo and I would still mess around with some lindy and blues dancing. The poor Unicorn got so frustrated at "butchering" tango, we had to just kinda goof off a little.

As I was told, the tango community seemed very welcoming. Then my pet peeve happened. An older gentleman asked me onto the dance floor. He then proceeds to ask if I've ever taken any tango dance lessons. That sounds so judgemental! I give him the benefit of the doubt and mention all that I have learned came from what I'd learned from my friends. "Well, let's see if we can go through the basic, " he tells me. We rough it through. I swear I was floating wonderfully with other leads but this guy... this guy was trying to crank me to "put my foot there" and "shift your weight here." He then quits on me IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SONG!! Its insulting enough when a tango dancer says "thank you" after just ONE dance. The "gentleman" then proceeds to mention that the teacher that evening could teach me more...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SONG!! Can cannot relate how insulted I was. Jo had to talk me down a bit. M made a point to mention this to the teacher who then came up to me to apologise for the putz.

Luckily, that experience hasn't dampened my determination to learn this dance.

Tango, anyone?

.: Get Out of My Head :.

I've had this song in my head for days but could not think of all the lyrics. Just one line was drilling into my head. Finally, I decided to google it. Here it is:

Love Is the Seventh Wave - Sting

In the empire of the senses
You're the queen of all you survey
All the cities all the nations
Everything that falls your way
There is a deeper world than this
That you don't understand
There is a deeper world that this
Tugging at your hand

Every ripple on the ocean
Every leaf on every tree
Every sand dune in the desert
Every power we never see
There is a deeper wave than this
Swelling in the world
There is a deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

Feel it rising in the cities
Feel it sweeping over land
Over borders, over frontiers
Nothing will its power withstand
There is no deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

All the bloodshed all the anger
All the weapons all the greed
All the armies all the missiles
All the symbols of your fear
There is a deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

At the still point of destruction
At the centre of the fury
All the angels all the devils
All around us can't you see
There is a deeper wave than this
Rising in the land
There is a deeper wave than this
Nothing will withstand

I say love is the seventh wave

I've always mean to mention that the majority of views I get around the world are part of searches for the lyrics I end up posting up. :) Hello World!!

.: Talk To Me :.

So recently I'd learned some very insightful philosophies on communication. They also come with some lovely well phrased sound bites.

1)"The Opposite of Drama is Communication" - After Hawaii, I swore that I would just let any drama just float right past me. Good in theory. I still have this problem of not talking when I should. More specifically, dealing with a problem that could easily be resolved by either giving explaination or getting explaination. More easily still, talk instead getting all jealous, angry, or creating a grudge. Grudges. I've become an expert at grudges. I blame my mother. Anywho...

2)"The Golden Rule Doesn't Necessarily Apply in Communication" - Speak onto others as you would like to be spoken to. Not true. One may want to be talked to more immediately with more specific detail. But that doesn't mean that they apply the same process to a person that would rather not be spoken to for a while and in more general ideas.

I'm not used to communicating in either one of these concepts so please be patient with me... if I decide not to talk at all.

.: Unbearable:.

If there is one thing that upsets me the most its when someone talks to me as though I were an idiot. Its as though I were some moron, some imbecile, who can't comprehend the complex ideas set before me. Or the insinuation that said someone is somehow smarter or better than me.

I really shouldn't be surprised or upset. I kinda knew that this was going to happen.

So, really, the bad part of someone talking to me like as though were an idiot is when I believe them.

.: Slow Night :.

I feel like this is the very first night in a long long time that I just bothered to stay home. Parties and dances are being ignored tonight. Hedds will be shocked.

Its kinda nice and kinda necessary. I work early again tomorrow. Worked an eight hour shift in the sun today. In the sun. A few folks had work that had them under tents but not me. In the sun. I got a bit sunburnt. The ONLY time I've gotten sunburnt was in the Philippines.

I had a first wedding lesson today. The first in a long while. It was with a very good friend from high school who gets married in a few weeks. I was incredibly nervous for some reason. I just really wanted them to do really well. Turns out they picked all the moves fairly easily. Any problems were solved quickly and with little angst. The best part: They laughed. They laughed through all their mistakes. Ok, not all. But they laughed and they had fun. I'm a rockin' good teacher. I keep forgetting that.

So a busy day but a slow slow night. I forget I need those slow times, too.

.: Boner :.

Considering the in-depth conversation about sperm, I recently uncovered a Sinfest favourite:

.: SHhhhhh :.

Lyrics came to mind:

I've a fine little secret
I've promised not to ever ever tell
Yes it is a fine little secret
And its just as well...
They'd bury me
They'd banish me
to a liar's hell...

Lyrics came over the radio:

Dirty Little Secret - All-American Rejects

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
The way she feels inside (inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)
These sleeping dogs won't lie (won't lie)
And now I try to lie
It's eating me apart
Trace this life out

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Dirty little secret
Dirty little secret

Who has to know
Who has to know

.: ha :.

I couldn't believe the first time I watched it yesterday in the World Cup finals. But I do appreciate this...

.: In the voice of MandaPance :.

1> Enablers. Not a good idea. Evah.
2> Unicorns and Dinosaurs. They exist. I don't know if I'm happy about that.
3> A bad idea is still a bad idea.

.: Surf’s Up :.

Surf Class
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

I did it. Mark it off the 25 List!

I finally learned how to surf. And I rocked it. Not that I’m hitting the huge waves or anything but I held my own. And the best in my class ;) * sigh*

I’m sitting here in the airport terminal and I can still feel the waves that were beneath me this afternoon. An unfortunately calm day today though so the the ocean became a rocking chair lulling me into what must have been a peaceful dream.

Days before I was out surfing with my family and friends. I thought of the pride and excitement at seeing them ride a wave to shore. And the incredible rush I had when I first rode all the way to shore. I remember the heat of the sun and the coolness of the water. I remember seeing the palm trees ahead of me. I was too far from trees One and Two. If I were parallel to them, as Billy had suggested, perhaps I would have caught better waves.

Not this day. Many surfers were sitting up on their boards looking out to the oceans trying to spot a good one. Yet as I sat on my waiting for my wave I’d thought of how I’d be able to reflect back on this moment and how it will make me smile. I feel very lucky that I’ve been able to surf everyday since the day that I’d learned.

I should feel that sense of accomplishment and happiness every day. In every dance. In every massage. In anything I learn everyday. Or I guess I could remember these days and the rocking waves.

.: Move Along:.

Not the most brilliant thing I’ve done.

I’d locked my car keys into the condo/house that we’d had in Lahaina. I already had a pretty tight chance of making the 10:59 flight out to the mainland. So after a brief stint breaking and then unbreaking into this house, I found myself late for my flight. My sister informed me that I could try to catch the flight an hour later. I sped down the coast of Maui only to find that the airport was closed. There was no one there to process me through. What a waste of a trip. This would make my sixth trip to the airport or its surrounding area. ARGH.

Luckily, Joe from Budget gave me THE best customer service. He drove me in the rental car over to the airport hoping that I would be able slip in under the gun. He also took care of my paperwork considering I lost all my major travel information _somewhere_.
That and he was cute.

After much chatting at the America West operator, I failed to rip her a new one. I would have to fly standby or pay the fee and the difference in price. This was the even more irritating part of the entire stupid situation.

But I drove back to Lahaina, once again. This time I took my time. I watched the moon, so huge and pale. I watched it shine its light onto the ocean. I heard the waves and smelled the salty tropical air. Then I rolled all the windows down and turned up the radio. This was the song I sang along with. Fitting, I think.


Move Along – All American Rejects

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

.: World Cup in Maui :.

kinda sad but a chunk of my time in Hawaii was spent watching the World Cup on ESPN. DAMN you cable TV!!! One of the highlights is the World Cup advert from Adidas - Jose +10. Brilliant! be sure to catch the rest of the advert series....

.: Wedding Reception :.

As much as my sister's wedding was quiet and simple, the reception was a circus! It was held at The Feast at Lele. It took all my strength not to let ANYONE in one this secret after Hedds showed me their website long ago.... Its a shame that I don't have pics of this but I'm waiting on Nana's because her camera is far far more superior...

.: Mommy's Helper :.

We have an inside joke

I get to take care of this beaner and help out dixie on Fridays. A fairly easy endeavor. Though I'll have to admit I slightly panicked when she got into screaming fit because she was fighting sleep. But I got her down and gave myself a pat on the back. She is a darling girl when you get her happy... And the errands... easy peasy. Its pretty rewarding to know that I'm helping out the family.

I may have wedding fever but babies are giving me a slight temperture.

.: On the Road Again :.

For those not in the know, I've had my car back for a week now. One thing that I missed about driving was rocking out and singing along with the music. So I heard this the other day and sang at the top of my lungs to my fellow drivers along the highway... classic.

The Reason - Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

.: Never :.

Dev has posted up his movie!

.: where are you? :.

mk posted up her list again...

So I took the time to look at mine and see if it needs some updating. And it does. This especially after taking the test at echemistry.com.

List of Things I Want in My Partner in Crime

- Knows how to enjoy drink, not to abuse it.
- A dry sense of humour. Like me.
- Loves music, he strives to have, listen, or create music everyday
- Sings, I'm not asking for a fabulous voice but someone so passionate about music that they have to be a part of it, dare I say, even likes karaoke
- A thoughtful romantic in action and not just in word; in meaning, not in dollars.
- Must be a dancer, not just a lindy hopper but someone who knows how to express himself with his body and is comfortable with it.
- Oooo...dances (nice and slow)
- Knows when to kick my butt if I'm being a butt.
- Knows when to leave me alone if I'm being an ass.
- Great to take on a road trip, can play the part of Captain, Navigator, and/or passenger just along for the ride.
- Will play in a water fight, snowball fight or swing on a swing set
- Opens the door - car or otherwise.
- Walks on the streetside along the sidewalk with me
- Walks with me to the playground.
- Does NOT SNORE... more than me
- Knows movies. Has opinions about movies. Can tell me the story about a movie without completely ruining it for me
- Seriously, he has to be damn funny esp with well-timed Simpsons quotes.
- Cares more about me than money er knows where to prioritize money with our needs.
- Loves travel - whether by the seat of our pants or a well-planned adventure
- Loves long phone calls and longer letters - there's no kind of communication that he lacks in.
- Writes me notes - cause as much as I like to say action shows more, a nice word now and then on a Post it note or via text msg, is sweet.
- Likes tea
- reliable
- doesn't yell 'cause I tend to just shut down if I get yelled at and they've got to know better ways of communicating
- great in bed - ok I should be specific - great FUN in bed. If gettin' off is going to be great strain and work well, that's no fun.
- creative, resourceful, practical
- DEAL BREAKER: Must LOVE anime that is subtitled
- Must dig foreign films, ie. a first choice when picking out weekend videos
- "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run"
- A night person that won't be too bothered when I make a late night drinky dial
- loves pets - cats and dogs
- reads A LOT - and tells me all about them books
- cracks ma shitup but at times it when I don't have coffee in my mouth
- good with their hands *not just THAT way, sickos* ie. build stuff, fix things, and makes junk.
- looks me in the eye esp when its the kinda truth that hurts
- holds my hand in public
- doesn't need to be baby-sat at parties
- DEAL BREAKER: My sisters must get a good vibe
- knows high heels equals cab ride
- MUST DIG ROBOTECH
- truly appreciates family
- doesn't smoke everyday
- must {heart} toys
- makes me laugh ... in bed
- loves video games BUT not an addict
- an extensive appreciation for art, jazz, theatre, and Oscar Wilde
- geeks a lot about a lot of things
- willing to make an ass of himself
- DEALBREAKER: able to survive the Philippines- the weather and the family
- more action than talk
- more play than work
- loves food - eating it and cooking it
- a team player
- a life-time learner
- knows when to negotiate and when to stand his ground
- inspirational
- patient with me and himself
- lets me know I'm worth his time and attention every chance he can.
- touches me not just because he knows it will make me smile but because he wanted to anyways

.: Wedding Fever :.

Glenn and Allison's Wedding
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

After missing agood number of wedding that I was invited to I finally went to one. This wedding invite was a bit out of the blue. My best buddy Arif asked me to go with him. Glenn, I had known for a few years now after first meeting him in our improv group. Did not know anyone else there.

I think some of the problems I have with going to weddings lately is a fear having to make some chit-chat. ya, i know, you think I can talk to anyone. That just hasn't been the case lately. I almost feel that I have nothing to contribute to a conversation. *sigh*

Well, I guess I'll have to suck it up. My sister's wedding is in less than two weeks.... eep.

I should also mention that this wedding I attended was the simplest yet most stylish event I've been. Twas inspirational really.... I want to get married. More on that later.

.: A CUBE Success :.

Spyder
Originally uploaded by ohtoberich.

Atleast I think it was...

Got nice lovely little comments...but I can't wait to hear the criticism.

Personally, it got back to the heart of an exchange: Good dancers, Great music, unbelivable good times! So worth the pain and trouble. Imma so going to crash in a bit....

btw I'm pretty sure that its Glenn dancing in that picture with Spyder.

.: On the Edge :.

augh.

It's unlikely that I could (or should) explain the rollercoaster of emotions I've been riding as of late.

...my sister's wedding, thinking of my own, thinking how I've got to snag a groom first, thinking I'm so NOT marriage material, thinking I hate people, thinking people must hate me scowling at them, thinking I'm a disappointment, thinking I love dancing at Fizz, thinking I've got some pretty fucking awesome friends, thinking I got to keep working on CUBE shit...

Luckily I had a few people that talked me down. b.lang and jer were pleasant surprises. A virtual hug and kiss from swingdoc was especially uplifting. The unicorn not only talked me down from the worst part, he gave me alot more to think about...

off to bed to wake to another ride...

.: what I've become :.

I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.
Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine

I'm not a big fan on who I've become.

Its pretty outstanding the negative things that I dwell on. The Unicorn pointed out a glaring blemish on my character. As opposed to doing anything about it, the least of whatever he's suggested, I've sat on my resentment and let it fester further. And it hasn't been any better these last few days. Imma wreck.

mk had it right when she'd said I don't need to worry about forgiving other people. "You should forgive yourself first."

.: Its late I know :.

...but I'd felt like writing. Don't want to fight that feeling...

Walked home after a brief visit with mk and Owen. I wish there was a way to share with you the scent of the air tonight. The blossoms. The cool breeze. It was almost a shame we live so close. That and my foot still hurting. How nice is it to spend just a few moments with an old friend to catch up on things and to spill your guts.

I've been off the past few days. I was desperately hoping that this free concert tonight would raise my spirits. It horribly failed. However, the drinks following with some of the dancers that helped. It was funny and wonderful at once how we stood outside of the restaurant lingering not wanting the stories to end. But they did. Much too short for me.... especially tonight.

.: been a while, eh? :.

First must apologize to poor poor mitten. I'm sorry that I'd ever given you an ounce of worry. Sometimes I forget that people bother looking at this blog or my flickr account for that matter.

Suffice to say its a red flag that I'm not writing. I could blame it on the wonky network we've gotten in the apartment. Matt's been a star trying to get it to work. Of course, its a bit necessary for his work. Oh, I can blame the fact that I've been doing marketing gigs. I might get my mitts on one where I get to drive a convertible with STICK SHIFT!! **crossing fingers**

Then there's the dancing. I've been dancing ALOT. Till this weekend when my ankle's been rolled, not once, but twice. Now, my foot plain hurts. I can also blame the theater jumping with the Unicorn. I've seen all the summer's blockbusters in two days time.

So suffice to say, I've been busy but not taking the time to update properly. More later as my time here at the library is nearing the end....

.: Google Fan :.

I just want to puke my admiration here for the Google toys. So I'd been putting off really using my gmail account. I had prefered my Yahoo and its Calender. First, Jer introduced my to the Google Chat. So I started to stay online with gmail more. Hell, I even downloaded my address book into it.

Next, I discovered that the Google Calender is infinitely easier than the Yahoo Calender. I LOVE the pick up and drag feature. With my constantly changing plans, it comes in very handy. The quick entry feature is also handy for my lazy butt.

Then, just today, I discovered a feature that is going to have me completely ditch Yahoo. A long lost friend sent an email containing the phrase: "can do coffee in the hood sat. after 5." Then I notice that is an "Add to Calender". Click onto it and its filled out an event dialog box. From that short phrase, it placed the date and the location, "in the hood". Hehe, I could even map "the hood" if I needed.

Ok, I'm sure this has all been covered by mugsy or protaganist5 at some point.... What can I say, I'm a late geeker.

.: Me and Lil Joe :.

Tessa and Joe 1
Originally uploaded by ohtoberich.

From what I can tell this is just a parliminary round. Its hard to believe that I've probably just introduced myself to this guy just moments before... and here we are rocking out.

He'd asked, "Do you do Slow Drag?" I had only heard the phrase after watching video of it in Charlie Fuller's presentation that day. All I'd say in response: "well, I follow." Next thing I knew, this guy is making me fly!

When I realized that he'd qualified for the finalsl, I was fairly certain that my name would be called for finals too. Between those two points I was praying to be matched up with Joe. I was and we'd won.

I look at this picture and I'm astounded that two random people can get together to dance. Seriously, partner dancing even at its most basic, is hard. Moving your body, moving another's body to music that can be interpreted so differently between the two dancers. Mash all that together in a split second. Interpret the dance and the music and still convey spirit. To be able to do that with a random person. Amazing.

More puke about dancing sooner.

.: Cheap Thrills Weekend :.

5-3-2006-240
Originally uploaded by Shaugran.

To think that there as a possibility that I wasn't going to go St. Louis this past weekendfor my first blues dance weekend....

Not going to grand detail here but I do I have to purge my memories. I've been finding myself trolling the internet for posts, photos, or video of the weekend. So my list of the weekend.

-"I almost ran over a squirrel...Gimme a nut!"
- You'd think that I'd learned my lesson about traveling in squished quarters
-I don't speak French fluently but my friends do....Ybur, Eyoeda, and Mihcaoj
- Peter Strom and I are the missing Jackson children
- Adeoye and I harmonize with Kim Massie:)
- Never knew how pissed off I could get in an instant...what's with crying in St. Louis?
- Shopping! " How much gay-er can we get?"
- Workshop - awsesome, learned alot, as a lead. Created new exercises with Ruby.
- Finally won a Jack and Jill with ma new swing crush, Lil Joe from Denver. That's us in the pic!
- A hot and sweaty late night in a yoga studio. Surprisingly ideal late night.
- Breakfast with the housemates.
- More workshops more awesomeness.
- Acting with Steven and Virginie
- Met quite possibly the most unenthused woman in the world.
- Met quite possible the only penis with a vagina in the world.
- First time competeting with Adeoye and not the last
- Dirty Boys jam
- Instructors performance
- Cage Match
- The grandest energy filled performance by Adeoye and Andrew. That and the deafening cheering of the crowd!!! and the dog pile.
- Finding my new bf from cananda, Jeff ... *swoon*
- Dancing till dawn ... seriously.
- feeling like a rockstar! MA BITCHES!!

.: Serenity :.

Your results:
You are Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)
You are good at fixing things.
You are usually cheerful.
You appreciate being treated
with delicacy and specialness.


Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)

---

85%
Inara Serra (Companion)

---

80%
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)

---

75%
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)

---

70%
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)

---

60%
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)

---

60%
Derrial Book (Shepherd)

---

55%
Wash (Ship Pilot)

---

45%
Alliance

---

40%
River (Stowaway)

---

35%
A Reaver (Cannibal)

---

15%


Click here to take the "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz...

.: Easter Weekend :.

What it says
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

Friday - Gorgeous. Don't even remember what I did exactly that day...just that it was gorgeous. Java Jive and the Clipper that night.

Saturday - Cruised over to Nana's with Hedds to spend the morning dyeing naughty Easter eggs. Chinese pastries and tamales on the menu. Then to spend the rest of the afternoon working on dancey stuffs with Ruby, Jo, and John. The evening included a barbecue and Harrang 2003 with Johnny LLoyd (*drool*) and more dancing. After that, more Clipper and more dancing. My first motorcycle ride of the season with me in a short skirt and ma drinking boots. Unfortunately, rain made for an awful trip back to Berwyn. Never again - the skirt and the riding in the rain.

Sunday - Woke up at Jo's with an invitation for a yummy breakfast at Ruby's. Then a marathon of movies including Crash (my new favorite), The Brotherhood of the Wolf, and Minority Report. Throw in a power nap and a fantastic seafood dinner. We ended things close to midnight. Wonderful, wonderful weekend spent in good company...

.: Be Blessed :.

One night, I passed in front of a café. There was a woman bundled up tight against the cold. She was selling StreetWise papers. I don’t usually stop to buy one. I wasn’t going to tonight either. However my sister had given me a pack of coupons. These coupons, which she purchased from her church, are redeemable for food at various Lakeview businesses. I was going to give her the whole packet of them. Instead I looked like a fool explaining how the vouchers worked all the while digging in my bag only to find nothing.
I promised her that I would come back and give the vouchers to her the next time I saw her.

Well, now on this wonderfully sunny day I ran into her again. Finally. So I gave her the coupons. She thanked me by saying, Be blessed. I told her, No problem. Have a good day. Then I walk away.

A few steps later this idea occurs to me. I walk back. In the spirit of my taking pictures of strangers today, I asked if I could take her picture. She politely said no. So I wished her a good day. “It’s because of my religion,” she continued. I stood there waiting to hear something about the camera stealing her soul. Instead she states her refusing to have the picture taken has to do with her belief in the Bible and her “strong” Christianity. I could not walk away after that statement. She’s destroyed most of her pictures, she says, even pictures of her children. This way when Satan comes to prosecute the Christians there are no records of her. “I just really want to sorta disappear.”

I know that feeling…

When she told me of the concentration camps that being built for the prosecuted along the Canadian border, I must have looked like I shut down. She said, “See, it’s my religion. Otherwise I would let you.” It’s OK I say and wish her good day again. She answers, Be blessed, one last time.

Recently, tdj posted this quote recently which, I believe, compli:ments this story well:

"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart." - H. L. Mencken

.: Red Flag Melancholy :.

Two parts:

First. I've set off red flags recently. Not taking very good care of myself. The drinking boots are just one flag. I shouldn't have even been drinking. I can't quite place where I'd lost my footing but I gotta keep working at it.

The falls aren't the thing, its the getting up again, right?

Dancing has been a mixed blessing. I've been dancing everyday this week for instance. The dancing this week has been keeping me moving and thinking and working. Working really hard. Yet its kept me distracted from my worries and what I really should be concerned about. One day I will strike that balance. One day.

Second:
More specifically, my hearts been aching. And not over some moron or any moron. Its not loneliness either. Maybe its just the downshift melancholy but I've exposing myself to this miserable song too. I got my sister hooked on it. We were weeping at a performance of it. She said it was because he looked as though he were suffering through his wretched heartache again.

Its always the lyrics to this song that get me. The hope, so apparent, the desperation too then a sad sad resignation. In these miserable words... It kinda hurts me that one of my red flags is not writing again... but it would kinda be like this miserable stuffs anyways...

James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

.: Ma Drinking Boots :.

My Drinking Boots
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

Its official. I've been too drinky for most of the week. I'm done.

Atleast I haven't bit anyone. That I can recall... But seriously, the last time I wore these boots was when I was at Mardi Gras. Fun times. That I recall. ugh. These boots were made for drinkin'...

.: Elaboration :.

As requested...

This starts out early Thursday morning as I have a 5:45 call to be an extra. Not a phone call. The phone call I made 10pm the night before. This to confirm that I would wake well before dawn to be backround for the Jennifer Aniston/Vince Vaughn movie. I was asked to carry four different outfits with me which I did. They used none outsde of my scarf and my friends hat. I had to be sent to wardrobe which had lent me a beautifully stylin' coat. I'd debate if it was worth the paycheck to return.

After HOURS of waiting, though probably the shortest amount of time I've had to wait as an extra, I finally walked in front of the camera past Vince and Jennifer. Then proceeded to do _that_ for hours.

I do miss working on films. Later this year....*crossingfingers*

From there to practica. I was delirious enough at that point but still had mind enough to learn alot and teach a bit. Incredibly successful and cannot wait until the next one.

From there to Lansing. Went with Jer on a road trip. Decided on that while on set. Reminded me of the random road trips I'd have on the fly with Dallywacker and the Boys or Kitty-girl. Slept most of it but woke up to strumming guitars. Sweet. We started off by visiting Jer's old place on a whim. Luckily his old roommate, Mark, just happened to be there. We played hours of pools where I sucked until I had a GORGEOUS three ball run to win the last game. And I got some sweet sweet herbs... Mint tea anyone?

Then a eclectic tour of Lansing including a fish ladder, the Lansing City Market, a beautiful chapel, and the Hall of Justice. Next, dinner with the best family of Napoleon Dynamite fans along with amazing food that I could not pronounce and yummy yummy coffee. Turns out they come from the same town as mandapance...Small world...

Finally to the swing dance party that was partnered with the Ballroom club. Ugh. I have to say that I felt a bit exasperated. Its been a while since I've traveled to a place that I didn't know one person. Sure I knew Jer but he didn't even bother introducing me to his own brother so he was socially worthless. So it came down to me actually growin some balls and asking people to dance. I was afraid to ask the ballroom people b/c well, I know Im not as good at ballroom dances. But I did it anyways and got quite a few nice dances. I'd forgotten how much I actually did know. My uncle taught me well...

So now with the swing dances.... I have a confession. Well, and this is where the blog lives up to its name, yes? *sigh* I am a dance snob.

I'm not as bad as most folks but nonetheless... I am a snob. But I couldn't bear these little swing dancers goofing and paroding the ballroom dancers. Yes, my feelings were a little hurt when only one dancer asked me to dance. BUT COME ON... when a lead asks me if I took the East Coast lesson before the dance BEFORE he even actually gets on the dance floor with me? Are you serious??? And I had to grin through a half assed lindyhop after that question?

I did have fun at the end when I did get to talk and hang out with dancers. There was one exception and I could blame lack of sleep and crankiness.... yet... I hate HATE women that are self-centered, attention whores that have to put others down to get that attention. I don't bloody care if you can say that alcohol plays a part in this outrageous performance. I don't care if they say that they say that they are just being frank and honest. Hiding behind booze and tactless "honesty" is a cop-out.

The reason I hate these people? Because I was her at one point and I wholly regret hurting others to make myself feel I am the important one.

*off soapbox*

Then back to Chicago where Jer and I tried to sleep on the bus. Little success there but good effort was put forth. We hit the ground running once we got into the city.. . So much for a quiet break from the city.

.: In a Day's Time :.

Anonymous Friend
Originally uploaded by thesongboy.

I'm kinda astounded how much one person can experience in a matter of a 24 hour or so period.

-Jennifer Aniston is not ugly upclose.
-Vince Vaughn is real tall. (I know everything is tall to me....)
-Fake movie snow is mostly lard and smells.
-Movies are not easy to make.
-ONS sighting. **aaaawkwaaard**
-I like sleep and food - a good amount of each is real good.
-Catnapping is superb. Just not on a bus.
-I can still shoot stick with authority.
-I see penii. They're everywhere...
-I hate the silly petty argumentative girly girls that I used to be
-Bubble tea goes well with car wrecks.
-Fish ladders.. Who knew?
-Everyday is full of surprises.

.: BWah :.

Missed too many cool concerts this weekend.

1) James Blunt. So Addicted. Obessesed. Something. Hedds says he looks like Cojo. She's insane.

2) Jenny Choi in Sanawon. I've missed her over the years. Find out she's got Sanawon. bAnd we are in the same damn city. And she has this great blog. I love this entry.

3) Rocky Votolato. Damn. My chance to finally see him live. I hear his music everday in some little way.

.: Geek or Freeks :.

I know too many geeks. One of them has to be a freakshow....

I did pretty well on this quiz. I don't think I would do quite as well as on a moron quiz.

.: Mmmmm :.

Me Cowing Out at Filter
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

Fooooooood.

Love the stuff especially after a long day of guerilla marketing. This particular day consisted of me shakin' ma boutoo, playing drums, swing dancing, and impromtu corner harmoninzing. I forgot that I led a congo line downtown... A busy busy day... more pics in the flikrblog.... now to pass the hell out.

.: Wedding Dance :.

I observed a Wedding Dance lesson for BCS this afternoon.

The lesson was what is refered to as the Slam-Bam-Thank You, Ma'am Lesson. Their ONLY lesson a week before the actual wedding. Alot of the lesson is just observing the couple and making sure the lessons/suggestions are remotely being learned. After a while I stopped watching their technique. I started watching them.

Here they were trying to learn and absorb something that was a bit foreign to the both of them. They made mistakes. They made so many mistakes. Still, they laughed through the lesson. They talked and tried to figure out the problems. When they couldn't figure it out, they refered to us for some guidance. Watching, I'd thought they'll make a lovely couple. They'll have a lovely marriage. I wonder if you can figure that out in one dance lesson. Gauge the success of a marriage like written in Blink.

I can't wait to start teaching some more couples. I couldn't help but grin with these two. Working with them was so enjoyable. I also know I'll come across more couples that are more difficult or argumentative. Bring it. That marriage might not be as successful but they are going to have a lovely wedding dance if I can help it.

.: Good Times :.

What can I say...good dancing, great food and even better music....all night long...and a ten minute power nap.

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?


Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

Ooo
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

.: Yet Another Missed Connection :.

Late night on the Red Line heading south towards Lawrence. You jumped on the El with a wonderfully blue cello case. You sat down across from me, seats away, but I still saw your wonderfully blue eyes. Me, I was silently singing along to my CD player trying not to stare yet catching more and more of you in sidelong glances. Wanting more and more to just stay on this train, all the while singing this song silently to you....

James Blunt - You're Beautiful

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true,
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As I walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Lalala lalala lalala lalala laaaaaa

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you

.: Today :.

So HAPPY STEAK AND BLOWJOB DAY!!!

I've a headache and cannot participate this year. That and I'm superass busy today. more laters...

.: Hey Nonny Nonny :.

I'd recently seen Kenneth Branagh's Much Ado About Nothing. With much talk about "The Game", this song reminded me of something. My friend sent me a card with these lyrics printed inside. He was comforting me after I'd lost yet in another game with some other random dude. I think I'm understanding Shakespeare better. ;)

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never:
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

Sing no more ditties, sing no more,
Of dumps so dull and heavy;
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leafy:
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

Balthasar in Act 2, Scene 3, "Much Ado About Nothing"

.: Unwinding :.

Mississippi Heat
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

I kind of feel as though my time back from New Orleans has made me calm down and settle down quite a bit. Or else I'm just exhausted. I'd spent most of the weekend at home though I'd complained that I needed to get out and catch up on my dancing. Even tonight at House of Blues, I barely danced. The music was fantastic but I wasn't motivated to ask the guys for dances. Meh.

OK, not quite exhausted because I'm probably working and getting more done than I did before my little vacation. I lucked out not having to wake up at 4am this morning. However, I get to look forward to that the rest of the week. Yay with the incoming season of guerilla marketing! There's the hours at Big City Swing and teaching at Evanston. Now I get to sling shots again at the Starbucks down the street with Austin.

Funny. Not getting that jobber in New Orleans has made me determined to work harder here in Chicago. Yet... there's a weird strange and mystifying sense of calm. Normally chaos seeking me would fight to create some drama... The winds are changing. Or else I partied way too hard and this is all a hallucination.

.: Map o' Naw Leans :.

Map o' Naw Leans
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

This map is one of a many pictures I plan on taking everyday. I figured I have a perfectly good camera that should see the light of day. On good days, I have an eye for composition. It will be an exercise in art and design. Though I think many of the pictures will be of me deseperately trying fit in a quick pic before the night is over. You can see a few already on ma flickr.

And I was kinda thinking, I can do this for Lent. Why give up something bad with out replacing it with something good?

.: Lent and Soul Savin' :.

So's while I'm a-church shoppin' and hanging out with Catholics in New Orleans, I mean to celebrate Lent. At least the givin up stuff part. So's after leaving NO, I'd thought I'd give up drinking beer. That didn't last nor did I take it seriously. Thinking of another horrible habit to give up, I thought soda or pop, whatever you call it. My sister gave it up for Lent a few years ago. Now she hates drinking it. I meant to ash on Wednesday but was recovering most of that day. I'm a horrid Catholic. I should just give up.

However, its not like folks are giving up on me. You should have the seen the HUGE crosses on Bourbon St. in the thick of the sinning. God Bless 'em. That's balls to try to convert folks on the street like that. I witnessed these young white folks with their hands upon an older black gentleman imploring him to pray for his sins. First I overhear. "I can'y.. I can't... I can't...". Eventually there was a chant of prayer. I didn't see if the gentleman prayed too.

Tonight there was some dude who I thought was a bit looney and talking to himself. After sitting down, I'd realized he's speaking to everyone. He's preaching to the sinners on the CTA. He spoke of the only book, the Bible, to solemn-faced riders. With a voice that reminded me of the sultry tones of an evangelical TV preacher, he told us to sit with Jesus and God. For some reason we had the opportunity to switch to another bus. Everyone rushed for the doors.

God. Seriously.

.: Fellow Artist :.

I'll have to write in little vignettes my adventure in New Orleans. I think I'd learned and experienced some pretty amazing stuff. Well, ok, outside of being drunk for a good part of the daylight.

I'd met a painter, Ocean Clark, who had his paintings laid out for veiwing and sellin'. There were SO many wonderful pieces. Portraits of Marilyn Monroe, Louis Armstrong, even Jelly Roll Morton. THAT is where I'd blow a thousand. I was so fascinated by his brushwork and color. He's studio and house were wrecked with the floods. He does want to come back again tho he's in NYC, I think.

Made me miss painting. I suck at painting opposed to other kinds of artistic media. Thanks Ocean for reminding me about art.

.: Back from NOLA :.

CIMG0080
Originally uploaded by nuprinz.

So I'm back. And I can't think of enough words to describe the entire adventure this weekend. But I'll try.

tenacity - new friends - debauchary - gypsies - voodoo - Bavarian Chocolate - balogna wraps - snakedr - fuckin' Memphis - partying - "you got this round?" - Platnuim - po' boys - good food - jambalya and arbita - Franks - Live music at the Cafe - Bourbon Street - "Got Beer?" - Hurricanes - beads, beads, beads - " Just keep walking..." - French Market - feathered masks - That fuckin' Chris guy - That adorable Chris guy - Mind Erasers - DD glasses - "Help me find an umbrella." - "Where are you guys?? Hello??? I'm sooo lost."

.: Boys :.

...are not completely yucky. Atleast not at the moment.

I was just thinking today of how many great friends I have esp of the male persuasion that I love and respect. And who love and respect me. Woot.

So I don't despise the penii so much... today.

(Devon - if you're good and get me karaoke-izing and drunky...we'll do another audioblog!)

.: Early Morning :.

I don't know if I should even bother with the sleep stuff tonight. I've so much to do. To pack. To make sure bidness is all wrapped up whilst I am gone... Then this morning is going to be jam packed too. I haven't been sleeping well the last few nights at anyrate. I suppose I'll just have a nice little nap on my way down to New Orleans...

You, my dear readers, won't miss me much as I'll be bringing down ole laptop (Can someone think of a name for my lil guy?) down to the NO. Doing this as a favor to the Real Deal Neal. I owe him big time! And ma new camera...bringing that too. Well document a trip finally...

Ack back to work.

Probably did not help that I bothered going to Images. But it was soooo worth it. Miss Lesley makes my month :) She is such a riot... especially on her birthday which was tonight. I owe her one too!

laters skaters...

.: Should Be Sleeping :.

I've got to be up in a few short hours.

Getting this long hair cut OFF by noon.

All this hair will be gone in a few hours. I'd spent a chunk of my day today in a salon getting my hair dyed in preparation for the cut this morning. Color! I finally have streaks of color in my hair again. Red. You can barely see it at the moment but the cut will bring it out more.

I remember the first time I color streaked my hair. Bleached out chunks at my hair place at UofI. It was in celebration of getting into the band. I'd seen it in a British fashion mag a while before and Selling Spice was the perfect excuse for me to rock out my hair.

So I guess I've had color in my hair well before I'd started Swing Dancing even. That stopped last year. That last time I'd gotten it done up in color it lbooked like flames. Hedds says it made me look like a rooster.

I still need to be up in a few hours.

But I can't sleep. Perhaps its too soon after Fizz. Perhaps its that I'm trying to think of that song I'd heard in the salon today that I'd wanted to blog. Perhaps I'm a bit frustrated that WH is all broke. Maybe its thinking of New Orleans. Or even Hawaii. Suffice to say I've quite a bit to think about in the next few days.

I maybe going to Mardi Gras. My first one. I'll get to see The Real Deal Neal the first time in a long ass time. I'll definitely be going to Hawaii AND I'm in charge of finding flights, rental cars and condos for my family.

But I just remembered that song... My Italian boss at a restaurant used to sing itto me just to try to rile me up:

Coldplay - Yellow

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry

Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you

.: Brain Talk :.

brain
Originally uploaded by MarkFitz.

I'm probably not completely comprehending this post from tdj as well as I will in the morning. However, without the recent brain stuff I've been reading this would have been mush.

I was just explaining why I like reading this junk. Do I believe in this stuff, he asks. I kind of have to. Its this faith, belief that I've to look into...it kinda makes sense to study up on neuro stubstances that affect my thinking, learning and feeling. It fascinating to think that these afflictions of the brain or its chemicals can so dramatically or even quite simply change the world around me. hmm.. kinda like teaching, I'm learning a new of looking at something I already do. I don't want to depreciate my skills and talents. ever. yet things change.

My "lite" reading really is nothing compared to these studies that I really wish I could really understand. Perhaps even more reading?

.: From the Outside :.

I saw a big furry squirrel.

No shit.

On this freezing day in Chicago, I saw some dude dressed up as a big fucking squirrel. He was sitting against an abandoned building, like he was waiting for the next bus. (I rode the El in a a full bunny costume.) I would have sworn it was me just revisiting my costumed days. Then the driver of the car in which I was riding saw it too and busted out laughing. A big furry squirrel then waved at me. I was dyin' and regreting I did not have my camera right then.

This inspired to me to dredge up an old story of my being a Banana:

So at one of street festivals, that had concerts and FOUR beer dispensaries around said concert area, I was assaulted. Too bad I wasn't in a peanut suit **rim shot**

Some drunk **** dragged me back by the top of my banana peel. He was trying to get my attention. He was following me and my fellow Banana Man (yeah there are a bunch of us **another rim shot**) around all day tryin to get free samples or giveaway items.

So I spun around to see this guy with his friend, both holding plastic glasses of Miller High Life, and smiling impishishly. I looked the hairy beast in the eye, the one that wasn't wandering and said: That, sir, was rude and YOU are drinking ****TY beer!! I hooked my arm with my Banana Man pal and walked back towards the Jamba Juice tent...

Damn. I kinda miss hiding behind a stupid costume...

.: To Miss Ruby Red in Regards..:.

...to you not having your comments working, damnbit. Is it a red head thing? **peering at MK**

nuprin
tessa.auza@gmail.com
http://nuprinz.blogspot.com/

I too have spent my time in fear while in the world of Math. No longer! I'm breaking my chains by going back to square one. Yes, by punning into math. No. by seriously exploring arithmatics again.

And researching how the brain takes in information. Two books to consider for your endless list. Mind Sculpture: Unlocking Your Brain's Untapped Potential by Roberston. Incredibly cheezy whiz title but interesting stuff. Also, On Intelligence: How a New Understanding of the Brain Will Lead to the Creation of Truly Intelligent Machines by Jeff Hawkins. *phew* In the thick of it at the moment but I'd recommend it at this point...

.: fuck :.

Happy Valentine's ma bitches... even you suckers.

.: Sore :.

I'm feeling my age or something.

Sure, I danced quite a bit at JJ. Then again maybe its the 2mi walk to the Clipper afterwards. So hurtin'. That seems to be the thread through most of my entries lately. I gotta change that this year. Its all probably in my head. Still my body is wrecked.

Going to the Clipper was worth the adventure... One of the last two songs we'd heard preformed by the Deep Chicago Rythym Owls was "Save The Bones For Henry Jones." We'd heard it earlier at JJ. I even remember performing a version this song in choir class long ago in high school. I bet I wouldn't have been hurtin this bad back then.

Save The Bones For Henry Jones

We’re gonna have a supper
We’ll eat some food that’s rare
And at the head of the table
We’ll place brother Henry’s chair
Invite all the local big dogs
We’ll laugh and talk and eat
But we’ll save the bones for Henry Jones
‘Cause Henry don’t eat no meat

Today I’ll go to market
Buy up a lotta fish
Well, that will thrill brother Henry
‘Cause fish is his special dish
Get a large can of molasses
Have something really sweet
But we’ll save the bones for Henry Jones
‘Cause Henry don’t eat no meat

Henry is not a drinker
He rarely takes a nip
He don’t need a napkin
‘Cause the things he eats don’t drip – blip!
One day we had a banquet
It really was a bake
They started off with short ribs
Then finished off with steak
But when the feast was over
Brother Henry just kept his seat
And we served the bones to Henry Jones
‘Cause Henry don’t eat no meat

Our banquet was most proper
Right down to demitasse
From soup to lox and bagels
And pheasant under glass – class!
We thought the chops were mellow
He said his chops were beat – reet!
We served the bones to Henry Jones
‘Cause Henry don’t eat no meat
He’s an egg man
Henry don’t eat no meat
He loves a pullet
Henry don’t eat no meat
A vegetarian
Henry?
Coming mother!
Soup’s on