.: Burnt Out :.

Its official. I'm hitting the leg of my lindy hop marthon where I get a cramp...

I'm on my way to Fizz last night and I realize. I don't want to go. Really. Its the best night of the year for Fizz and I do not want to be there. Anything else and I'd crawl under the covers and tell everyone else to fuck off. This is how much I love Fizz. I go.

And I'm kinda glad I did. Noah and Evin were there. So after a few minutes of comisserating, I pull myself up by those ever popular bootstraps and get to it. Wouldn't you know it, its not only is it incredibly poplulated last night, it was the most work intensive night I could imagine. It didn't help that Lippy called me stupid in front of every one. Sigh. Or that people were telling me how to do my job. Sigh.

But it only proved what I was thunking for the last week. I'm burnt out again. Its happened more than once in the past so I know what I'm talking about. And I can't even blame this one on a boy. Sure, I guess I could but I'm not going to.

This is hard for me to describe outside of taking some of my most passionate dance blog entries like this and this one and definitely this one and just enter: bleh. I could cry.

I don't know what to do about this one...

.: Hello! Goodbye... :.

Ever kind of get all excited about someone you haven't seen for a while? Then its not as exciting as it was before? Its not as exciting as you remember?

My tacklehugs... My Atomic Bomb of a Hello... I've realized I give them out much less than I used to do. Sure I go freak wild on an Exchange weekend. But then it eventually gets down to chatting about the real stuff and not just the excitement of, I dunno, the initial dance (?). Its a good thing the tacklehugs are a load of happy in themselves :)

I missed a fundraiser BBQ this weekend. Primarily, because I didn't want to have the real life conversations after the enthusiatic hello. It'd be a great big "Hello, how are you?" and then you actually have to talk about how you are... most probably in a fake happy kind of way. I'm not happy with ma stuff at the moment. How can I fake happy with that? This is the same explaination for missing a number of weddings this summer too...

Saying goodbye was something else that came up this weekend. It sometimes sucks and sometimes it never really ends. Hmm.. for the instantaneous slam of a tacklehug.. when I really get attached to someone I'm never very good about letting go. I've had to more recently... I think I'm getting the hang of it... getting better at saying goodbye.

Tonight I watched this dance performance at Links Hall (and it was NOT lindy related). Aside from the great admiration of the human body and its movement, I saw the complexity of relationships. I saw the comparison and contrast of bodies being together and being without the other. It was really very sensual and emotional. I think I'm losing some of that with Lindy Hop recently. Not sure why, just know I'm not ready to say goodbye...

(Dear Dev, I miss you...)

.: Good Saturday :.

Had a great morning after a great night of pumpkin carving, Sleepy Hollow and Spicy Spiked Cider (see photo for my punkin creation)... Went shopping with my sister... Loving the new Target in the neighborhood... It gets better...

Take MR for a ride on a a gray gray day to Rotofugi to help him do research for an art project for the kids. Ends up buying a toy for himself. Gets us passes for a free show at the Metro. Went to see Airiel but got my socks knocked off by an amazingly tight show from Office. Fantatic show all around. Ears ringing, we walked to a bus stop in the rain to dance to music pumping from taxi cabs. Then back to watch V for Vendetta (finally! Scarier than the Halloween movies I've been seeing as of late...) Finally its Sunday and I have to wake up in a few hours to make a grand impression at 2nd interview (which I think I ROCKED - more on that later...)

Its weird having a weekend with no dancing...but its good.

Oh yeah... Here are the words we were looking for...

Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet

I want to love somebody
I hear you need somebody to love
Oh i want to love somebody
I hear you're looking
For somebody to love

'cause you need to be back
In the arms of a good friend
And i need to be back
In the arms of a girlfriend

I didn't know nobody
And then i saw you coming my way
Oh i didn't know nobody
And then i saw you coming my way

Don't you need to be back
In the arms of a good friend?
Oh 'cause honey believe me
I'd sure love to call you
My girlfriend
[solo]

Don't you need to be back
In the arms of a good friend?
Oh 'cause honey believe me
I'd sure love to call you
My girlfriend

'cause you
Got a good thing going baby
You only need somebody to love
Oh you got a good thing going
You're only looking
For someone to love
'cause you need to get back
In the arms of a good friend

And i'm never gonna set you free
No i'm never gonna set you free

.: Dancing Dreamily :.

Tessa and Philippe 9055
Originally uploaded by ohtoberich.

Lately I've been closing my eyes more while I've been dancing... this picture just proves it. It occured to me at the Strom workshop that maybe I try too hard. I do. I tend to try hard to impress my partner.

Dancing with Phillippe (pictured) it was obvious. (He was one of my most favorite dancers from WCLX. Luckily he and the other Quebecers stuck around Chicago a little bit longer...)

He had all these fun tricks. All these bells and whistles. For awhile I was just trying to keep up with him. I don't know that I made any sort of impression at all. Then It occured to me that I should just keep it simple. So I closed my eyes again.

Alot more fun that way. Makes a dreamy dance even dreamier.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

.: Merci, Phillippe :.

I meet a dancer at WCLX and he sends me this. Those Canadians are a riot. (Sorry. Quebecers!)

SO NOT SAFE FOR THE OFFICE!


Via: VideoSift

.: Too Much :.

Too much fun, too much coffee, too much wine on an empty stomach, too less sleep, never enough dancing.... all worth it with a brief time at dawn at the Lake. Party goes on at Fizz tonight...

Chicago Workshop Routine

Took Peter Strom's Workshop one sunday morning after being out at a party till 4am. Yeah, I'm insane... and this rountive was hella fun...

.: When You Were Young :.

I've been hearing this song alot lately. I wonder if there's going to be one day that I'll finally grow up...

When You Were Young - The Killers

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now ... here he comes!

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young

Can we climb this mountain
I don't know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now, watch it go

We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes
and see the place where you used to live
When you were young

They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet
You don't have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young
(He talks like a gentlemen, like you imagined when)
When you were young

I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But more than you'll ever know