.: Good Hurting :.

Imma all kinds of hurting right now. And they are all good.

First, after a wonderful mastery of public transportation, I had a photo shoot at Big City Swing. It was loads of fun. I think in general I get energy working with cameras, lights, timing, and the eternity in finding the right shot. The photo shoot went extremely well, I think. Lotsa fun. Well, Mertza was happy and that's what that matters.

So the hurting was in the eternity. Holding my leg in the air, with a bend, at the knee, but from the hip and smile. The smiling was the easy part. The dip with me upside down for a time had me dizzy. There is a split kick I did over and over. My quads HATE me. And today is a running day. Imma definitely putting it off for tomorrow. That hurting was worth it. I hope all photos turn out well.

Next, good hurting... Oh, this is in my heart. Its this book "A Million Little Pieces". I'm not even done with it yet. I'm savoring the last few pages I will have with it. Then the hurting might be over. I don't think that it will. And I still CANNOT believe this is in the Oprah Book Club.

Its a gritty, dirty, and disguisting story. I've likened it to Trainspotting or even Requiem for a Dream. But its not. You can see the ugliness of addiction and obsession too closely and clearly. Then hold that pressed against hopes and dreams. And wanting a peace from that ugliness.

I'm kind of finding it hard to believe at moments. You see how this man destroys himself and others around him. You want him to stop. Just stop. Yet it carries on well past what you would ever expect a human being can survive. I found myself literally wincing and cringing while reading this on the El. I purposely missed my stop to finish a section.

But I believe it. Because I know alot of it myself. Not as bad, never that bad, but bad enough. And it hurts because its true.

I haven't cried for a good reason for weeks. I'm cryin' now as I write this and it kinda hurts, but in a good way. I'll have to write more later.