.:] who are you [:.

and what have you done with Tessa?

swingdoc told me this once. I had refused to go and talk to the hot Austrailian ski instructors. Come on people, when can I NOT talk to someone, much less flirt. Flirting is easy peasy. Its talking. Its being nice. Its getting to know someone. Lemon squeezy.

But my fears hit me at the strangest and most irrational times. In fact I'd spoken to these guys before. I probably wasn't ever going to be able to speak to them again. There was nothing to lose.

Whenever I meet up with a new therapist or even make a new friend, they seem to be fairly inmpressed with how outgoing I can be or my risk-taking stories. (perhaps this in comparison to their other clients or friends?) then inevitably there's the moment while I'm frozen in fear, I gotta wonder: If I'm going to silly and stupid over this little thing like saying hi, why would they believe whatever fantastic stories I've told?

Had this conversation with wreckermatt last night about how you aren't yourself for those moments. WM is a riot but I'd never really noticed how painfully shy he is in crowds. I have an almost opposite problem. I can't seem to talk to people very well, UNLESS we are good friends, on less than fluffy, chatty level. Or something like that... WM seems to have the same symptoms I do. I just get stupid and dumb. I can't for the life of me think of what to say next. If I do talk, I start mumbling. Which is what I did in DC. Me thinks I kinda missed an opportunity to get to know e better cause I didn't know who I was at the time.