.: Open Letter :.

I’d learnt my lesson after burning a huge pile of unsent letters earlier this year: go ahead and send off the letter. As it wasn’t writ from spite, there’s some good ideas in it. That and I’ve a good zinger or seven when I write at the moment and from the heart.

To my dearest morons, the idiot savants of emotional intelligentsia,

Just few notes to take with you as you go on to conquer lamer ass pussy:

-Do not go and have incredible sex with a girl more than twice in one morning and then break it off or never call back. If you really wanted to be a real ass, lay off the sex, plant the seed in her head that you are cheating on her and *then* break it off and/or never call her back

-Dude, do not go and make out with a good friend of hers and NOT think that its going to get back to her and bite you in the butt.

-Pay her back for the money she lent you to that paid for your drugs/alcohol/skank whores/rent.

-She’s not calling you back for a reason. Seriously. That and trying to contact her through MySpace or Friendster does not make a difference.

-Being emotional and brooding looks good on James Dean and Marlon Brando. In the Movies. Not you.

-If you can see the future, and KNOW that its not going to work out as a relationship or even a one night stand. Do NOT stick your dick in her NOW. You might get away with it if you do it LATER, while you are drunk.

-Girls will like you. A lot. And for reals. Suck it up.

That and bugger off...
love, t