.: Happy Monday :.

Its a rare Happy Monday... a holiday... where I am glad to work... and I am thankful for the troops that have let me live the life I live and and : LIVE @ Fizz tonite Solomon Douglas & Quartet! http://tinyurl.com/fizvw2 Can't join us in person?check us out on the internets....

.: Worky Days :.

Well, tomorrow will be a very busy day for me. A rarity. A full day. So for some reason I'm a bit tweaked out about it though I should be trying to get some sleep to get a an early jump on the next day.

Saturday was a workday for my brain as it was the first day that I had a theatre/improv rehearsal. The very first one in YEARS. I have to admit that my ego had a work over as well but there's my expectation that I'm going to awesome after all that time not working on the funnies. Not only was I slow, I completely stalled and forgot simple rules. But honestly, it wasn't as horrible as I had envisioned it.

But I have to get my butt in gear. And fast. The group has been signed up to preform in the next few weeks. Let's see if I've still got it....

.: Hangin' In There :.

Well, I'm still here.

The past weekend was a complete waste. I was a mess.

Then I went to a dance on Sunday, heard some great music, had some great dances, and finished the evening with a game plan for the rest of the week.

I've been through this before. Its practically old hat. Its just a little more stressfull this time around...

Solid As A Rock - Ella Fitzgerald

They can't keep a gooda man down
Always keep a smile when they want me to frowns
Keep the vibes and they stood my grounds
They will never ever take my crown
Who Jah bless I say no man curse
Things gettin better when they thought it would be worse
Here comes the officers askin for a search, they found no weapon just only a draw first

Cause I'm so solid as a rock they just can't stop me now
Even when they set there traps they just can't stop me now
People will say this and that they just can't stop me now
Even when they set up road blocks they just can't stop me now

When they come with there evilest thoughts i just listen whenever they talk
Jah is the light into my dark, he cut and tear my path
They fight without a cause tryin to make my life so hard
The king of kings and the lord of lords, give it all rewards

I'm so solid as a rock they just can't stop me now
Even when they set there traps they just can't stop me now
People will say this and that they just can't stop me now
Even when they set up road blocks they just can't stop me now

So don't you mix me up with your dirty games, your only tryin to tarnish my name
Your only lookin for the innocent to blame,
when your the ones who issue the guns down the lane
You only cause dysfunction anda frame, but the right ones believe in the reignLove is all i got I give and I'm not ashamed, lookin towards the future this lion can't tame

So they can't keep a gooda man down
Always keep a smile when they want me to frowns
Keep the vibes and they stood my grounds
They will never ever take my crown
Who Jah bless I say no man curse
Things gettin beter when they thought it would be worse
Here comes the officers askin for a search, they found no weapon just a only draw first

so solid as a rock they just can't stop me now
Even when they set there traps they just can't stop me now
People will say this and that they just can't stop me now
Even when they set up road blocks they just can't stop me now

.: Devastating :.

These past few weeks, particularly after Afable's funeral, have been challenging. Today, I got hit with the inevitable. My latest job let me go along with a bunch of other employees. "...economy with the way it is..." What irony that I felt blessed to have a job today. This after watching news clips and news clips about the unemployment numbers. Yet into work as I also do, bright and cheery and ready to go.

Then I got called into a room with six other people and that was that.

I'm not going to lie. I'm freaking the hell out. And my sister has told me not to dwell on it and to move forward. Its what you do in these situations that defines you. I can't say I'm a good person to try to apply that to. How am I defined if I just want to throw in the towel.... and I know that things are going to get worse before they get better...

Ah, if I could only drown my sorrows in a pint of beer or seven...

.: And I Get Paid For This? :.

Two things:

Fizz: I never really considered it my job. I have incredible fun putting up events with essentially money that is not my own. But then there is actual work involved. This is primarily when I have to put out someone's party. "No aerials on the social dance floor", "You have to play SWING music", "Listen, bitch, if you didn't pay at the door, you are not dancing on this floor. And I don't care that you are the bartenders wife!" and finally, ugh, telling someone that aren't going to be part of the Fizz party anymore. Well, in a different capacity. That is the worst part of my job, taking on the responsibility of being the party pooper.

New/Old Job: I really can't believe that I got my old job back! And I was getting so worried with the economy and my benefits and my 401K and a steady paycheck, etc.. And when I started up again, I got hugs from all my old co-workers with lovely compliments about missing me... And I get to be in a market again surrounded with foods, cheeses, and wine! And I get to help people to plan out their own little parties ;) I have yet to feel what will be the worst part of this job.. but I'm not going to be waiting for it...

.: Its The Little Things :.

Since losing my job I've:

1) Decided that I'm going to have another go at earning money as a massage therapist. Its weird having to earn money over things I would gladly barter or do for free. I still have long, ridiculous, and expensive steps to take but I'll get there. Anyone need a massage? I'm still charging only 80 dollars and I bring my table to you. Or if you just want to just give me the money I will take that too.

2) Had a swing dance event. It tanked. I was worried and anxious about it all that night. Luckily I had such a great support of friends and dancers. It sucked but I realized that putting events up for the scene is totally worth it. It was an endeavor. It didn't work and I'll try again. btw I made all the money back the next grad night :) AND finally decided I deserve a percentage of the income. I looked at the numbers from last year and the year before. I've almost tripled the attendance of when I started "working" at Fizz.(UPDATE: I forgot to mention the folks that were there had alot of fun so it only really was a failure in numbers.)


3) Got another job. Not a "real" job but some income right? I went into my favorite cafe Drew's. I decided that I deserved a scoop of really good mango ice cream. Drew asked how I was doing and I told him about my job situation. He'd said he'll keep his ears open. Then he said that he might need me. He needed someone to go out and advertise the store. As he said: "A bullshitter and a flirt" And I told him I was his girl. So I've a few hours every weekend to chat people up about a place I chat up already. This time I get paid.

Its karma. I swear to God.

.: Typically Not A Good Day :.

Lost my job. Again.

BUT I took a good set of pictures.

and an old friend posted this on his FB:



Things will look up. As dear Oscar has said:

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
-Lord Darlington, Act III; Lady Windermere's Fan