.: Hangin' In There :.

Well, I'm still here.

The past weekend was a complete waste. I was a mess.

Then I went to a dance on Sunday, heard some great music, had some great dances, and finished the evening with a game plan for the rest of the week.

I've been through this before. Its practically old hat. Its just a little more stressfull this time around...

Solid As A Rock - Ella Fitzgerald

They can't keep a gooda man down
Always keep a smile when they want me to frowns
Keep the vibes and they stood my grounds
They will never ever take my crown
Who Jah bless I say no man curse
Things gettin better when they thought it would be worse
Here comes the officers askin for a search, they found no weapon just only a draw first

Cause I'm so solid as a rock they just can't stop me now
Even when they set there traps they just can't stop me now
People will say this and that they just can't stop me now
Even when they set up road blocks they just can't stop me now

When they come with there evilest thoughts i just listen whenever they talk
Jah is the light into my dark, he cut and tear my path
They fight without a cause tryin to make my life so hard
The king of kings and the lord of lords, give it all rewards

I'm so solid as a rock they just can't stop me now
Even when they set there traps they just can't stop me now
People will say this and that they just can't stop me now
Even when they set up road blocks they just can't stop me now

So don't you mix me up with your dirty games, your only tryin to tarnish my name
Your only lookin for the innocent to blame,
when your the ones who issue the guns down the lane
You only cause dysfunction anda frame, but the right ones believe in the reignLove is all i got I give and I'm not ashamed, lookin towards the future this lion can't tame

So they can't keep a gooda man down
Always keep a smile when they want me to frowns
Keep the vibes and they stood my grounds
They will never ever take my crown
Who Jah bless I say no man curse
Things gettin beter when they thought it would be worse
Here comes the officers askin for a search, they found no weapon just a only draw first

so solid as a rock they just can't stop me now
Even when they set there traps they just can't stop me now
People will say this and that they just can't stop me now
Even when they set up road blocks they just can't stop me now

.: I Wish I Was Cooler... :.

A strange few weeks... I've actually had the opportunity to chat with ex-boys and ex-things. We've both have changed alot. Though I can't remember how it all ended... looking back it really was for the best. That and not talking to them for about eight years after the fact... I truly loved them and still do. I'm happy for them and they are happy for me. Now we're cool... (shoulda stuck to my guns...)



And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool

And we used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

.: Mercy Me :.

I'd, of course, fell in love with Duffy's video for "Mercy". When the Londoner was in town, we'd had gone all Westie style to "Mercy" in front of a jukebox. Then I started to look for Duffy's videos on youtube. This video is fantastic! Unfortunately, I can't embed in my blog...but the song is lovely none the less... You can replace "the tube" to "the El" and its very applicable..

Warwick Avenue - Duffy

When I get to Warwick Avenue...
Meet me by the entrance of the tube.
We can talk things over, a little time...
Promise me you won't step outta line.

When I get to Warwick Avenue...
Please drop the past and be true.
Don't think we're okay, just because I'm here...
You hurt me bad, but I won't shed a tear.
I'm leaving you for the last time baby...

You think you're loving but you don't love me.
I've been confused outta’ my mind lately...
You think you're loving but I want to be free.
Baby you've hurt me.

When I get to Warwick Avenue...
We'll spend an hour, but no more than two.
Our only chance to speak, once more...
I showed you the answers, now here's the door.

When I get to Warwick Avenue...
I'll tell you baby, that we're through.

I'm leaving you for the last time baby...
You think you're loving but you don't love me.
I've been confused outta’ my mind lately...
You think you're loving but you don't love me.
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me.

All the days spent together, I wished for better,
But I didn't want the train to come.
Now it's departed,
I'm broken hearted, seems like we never started.
All the days spent together, when I wished for better,
And I didn't want the train to come

You think you're loving but you don't love me.
I want to be free, baby you've hurt me.
You don't love me,
I want to be free,
Baby you've hurt me.

.: You See In The Past, I Had A Dream, A Fantasy... :.

Let's end it on this
Give me one more kiss
Let's end it on this
Let's end it on this

You see it's hard to face
The addict that's inside of me
I want to fill my glass up
With you constantly
I've been here before
But I've never ever felt this sure
And now I know I've been dreaming
And your actions
Have inspired me, so..

.: Now I'm Five Times Two :.

Zero, one...
two...
three...
four days without you
eight...
nine...
now we're five times two
now we're five times two
now we're five times two
words won't do
words won't do it
(words)
can't stay true
words won't get me through it
get me through it

.: Tae Bo Of My Very Own :.

Shadowboxer - Fiona Apple

Once my lover, now my friend.
What a cruel thing to pretend.
What a cunning way to condescend.
Once my lover, now my friend.

Oh, you creep up like the clouds.
And you set my soul to ease.
Then you let your love abound.
And you bring me to my knees.

Oh, it's evil,babe,the way you let your grace enrapture me.
When, well, you know, i'd be insane -
To ever let that dirty game recapture me.

You made me a shadowboxer, baby.
I wanna be ready for what you do.
I been swinging all around me.
'cause i don't know when you're gonna make your move.

Oh, your gaze is dangerous.
And you fill your space so sweet.
If i let you get too close,
You'll set your spell on me.

So, darlin', i just wanna say.
Just in case i don't come through.
I was on to every play.
I just wanted you.

But, oh, it's so evil, my love,
The way you've no reverence to my concern.
So, i'll be sure to stay wary of you, love,
To save the pain of once my flame and twice my burn.

You made me a shadowboxer, baby.
I wanna be ready for what you do.
I been swinging all around me.
'cause i don't know when you're gonna make your move.

.: I Think I Can, I Think I Can :.

Don't give up
'cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not the only one
Don't give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up now
We're proud of who you are
Don't give up
You know it's never been easy
Don't give up
'cause i believe there's the a place
There's a place where we belong

.: Repeating Myself :.

Looks like I have to say it again.

.: The Doodlin' Song :.

I've had this song in my head. Its a version done by Blossom Dearie. Some of my dear Fizz DJs know she's my favorite so I like to think they are playing her just for me. (and I catch all the breaks like a mo fo..)

And there is this puppet theatre set up in front of the Art Institute. It reminds me of Punch and Judy. At any rate, I instantly fell in love. You put a little money in a slot and the puppets dance to the funniest songs. I took some pictures that I hope came out well. Still have to see...

Going through youtube and I found this...A video of some of my favorite things, Blossom Dearie's version to "The Doodlin'Song" and the funniest hand puppet show that happends to be in front of the AIC.



Obligato, pizzicato,
Try lambado, it's the craziest,
When you noodle, with the doodlin' song
2, 3, 4, like it so much I'll doodle some more

Say you love me, really love me,
Even softer, pianssimo
Say you love me, with the doodlin' song
B, C, D, Oh what you doodlin' do to me

Say you love me, really love me,
Say you love me true, I love you
Say you love me, please believe me
When you do, that makes two' dle

.: The Sweetest Thing :.

My sister reminded me how some new music turns the day around. Playing around on youtube, I fell back on a new spin of a few favorite things: Gwen Stefani and No Doubt, a great U2 song, and Gavin Rossdale *squeee*. She's even got him doing a little white dude dance. Its going to be a fuckin awesome day... Mmmm.. yummy..



My love she throws me like a rubber ball
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
She wont catch me or break my fall
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Babys got blue skies up ahead
But in this Im a rain cloud
You know she likes a dry kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

.: Train of Thought :.

So it started with a late night viewing of "24 Hour Party People"... (Finally!)... Its a movie about the Manchester music and dance culture. In high school, I was obsessed with Manchester bands: New Order, The Smiths, Inspiral Carpets, Joy Division, The Stone Roses, etc. But mostly New Order.. So knowing that here we go...

The movie had ended with New Order's "Regret":

...I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain about my wounded heart

Just wait till tomorrow
I guess thats what they all say
Just before they fall apart.

Which made me look for the youtube video:

Which made me dig around and find this video:



Which was directed by my favorite modern artist, Robert Longo.

Which I can see how his "Men in Cities" series works into that video.

Then I think of my friend from high school. We both saw the Longo exhibit at the MCA. She was a year older and went to the east coast after she graduated. She came home to visit for while but during my last week of high school. She gave me the book to the "Men in Cites" series for graduation. She also brought along a friend originally from Manchester. He gave me his football jersey from his Manchester club. He also gave me a kiss since he couldn't stay long enough for my Prom. All the more to love Manchester right?

And so we have come full circle... *grin*

.: Epiphany :.

Do you realize - that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.

.: Quite The Weekend :.

Let's Go Crazy - Prince

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life

Electric word life
It means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here 2 tell u
There's something else
The afterworld

A world of never ending happiness
U can always see the sun, day or night

So when u call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
U know the one - Dr Everything'll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby

'Cuz in this life
Things are much harder than in the afterworld
In this life
You're on your own

And if de-elevator tries 2 bring u down
Go crazy - punch a higher floor

If u don't like the world you're living in
Take a look around u
At least u got friends

U see I called my old lady
4 a friendly word
She picked up the phone
Dropped it on the floor
(Sex, sex) is all I heard

Are we gonna let de-elevator
Bring us down
Oh, no Let's Go!

Let's go crazy
Let's get nuts
Let's look 4 the purple banana
'Til they put us in the truck, let's go!

We're all excited
But we don't know why
Maybe it's cuz
We're all gonna die

And when we do (When we do)
What's it all 4 (What's it all 4)
U better live now
Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door

Tell me, are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down
Oh, no let's go!

Let's go crazy
Let's get nuts
Look 4 the purple banana
'Til they put us in the truck, let's go!

C'mon baby
Let's get nuts
Yeah
Crazy

Let's go crazy

Are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down
Oh, no let's go!
Go crazy

I said let's go crazy (Go crazy)
Let's go, let's go
Go
Let's go

Dr. Everything'll be alright
Will make everything go wrong
Pills and thrills and dafodills will kill
Hang tough children

He's coming
He's coming
Coming

Take me away!

.: Kinda A Problem... But Not :.

Not An Addict - K's Choice

Breath it in and breath it out
and pass it on it's almost out
We're so creative and so much more
We're high above, but on the floor

It's not a habit, it's cool
I feel alive
If you don't have it your on
the other side

The deeper you stick it in your vein
The deeper the thoughts there's no more pain
I'm in heaven, I'm a god
I'm everywhere, I feel so hot

It's not a habit, it's cool
I feel alive
If you don't have it your on
the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

Oohoo (8x)

It's over now, I'm cold, alone
I'm just a person on my own
Nothing means a thing to me
Oh, nothing means a thing to me

Free me, leave me
Watch me as I'm going down
Free me, see me
Look at me I'm falling
And I'm falling.........

It is not a habit, it is cool
I feel alive I feel.......
It is not a habit, it is cool
I feel alive

I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict.

.: Oh! Karaoke :.

I've heard this song several times on the loop at work... and each time I can see Hot Andy on his knees wailing this song while karaoke-ing at Holiday Club. I hearts guys that lip sync their lovin'. (I'm looking at you, Maverick from Top Gun... You've lost that loving feeling...)

Oh! Darling - The Beatles

Oh! Darling, please believe me
I'll never do you no harm
Believe me when I tell you
I'll never do you no harm

Oh! Darling, if you leave me
I'll never make it alone
Believe me when I thank you, ooo
Don't ever leave me alone

When you told me
You didn't need me anymore
Well you know I nearly broke down and cried
When you told me
You didn't need me anymore
Well you know I nearly broke down and died

Oh! Darling, if you leave me
I'll never make it alone
Believe me when I tell you
I'll never do you no harm
Believe me darling

When you told me
You didn't need me anymore
Well you know I nearly broke down and cried
When you told me
You didn't need me anymore
Well you know I nearly broke down and died

Oh! Darling, please believe me
I'll never let you down
Oh, believe me darling
Believe me when I tell you, ooo
I'll never do you no harm

.: Total Eclipse of the Moon :.

Lunar Eclipse Noisy
Originally uploaded by swanksalot.

You know I'm not entirely true about the total, complete eclipse of the moon. But it was beautiful...

And this reminds me of my sister's Karaoke Birthday Partay. I did my first number one favourite karaoke song:

Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart

(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart

And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time, I was falling in love
But now, I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time, there was light in my life
But now, there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

(Turn around, bright eyes)
(Turn around, bright eyes)

(Turn around)
Every now and then, I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
(Turn around)
Every now and then, I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing that I just wouldn't do
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then, I fall apart

And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time, I was falling in love
But now, I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time, there was light in my life
But now, there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart

(Turn around, bright eyes)
(Turn around, bright eyes)
(Turn around)

Jebus. Them's alot of lyrics... then the rest of the wedding party went to Hidden Cove...

.: The Way I Am :.

Yeah, I heard it on an Old Navy commercial and my sis heard it Grey's and now we are both hooked.

The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson

If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match
'Cuz I love the way you say good morning
And you take me the way I am

If you are chilly, here take my sweater
Your head is aching, I'll make it better
'Cuz I love the way you call me baby
And you take me the way I am

I'd buy you Rogaine, when you start losin' all your hair
Sew on patches to all you tear
'Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am
You take me the way I am
You take me the way I am

.: yummy :.

Stockings - Suzanna Vega

I don't care for tights, she says
and does not tell me why
She hikes her skirt above her knee
revealing one brown thigh

I see, I say, and wonder at
her slender little fingers
How cleverly they pull upon
the threads of recent slumbers

Do you know where friendship ends
and passion does begin?
It's between the binding of
her stockings and her skin.
(oh yeah)

She stayed up so late I thought
she'd ask me to go dance
But something in the way she laughed
told me I had no chance

The fiction in her family
was that she was never nice
I'd say she was very
I just did not see the price

Do you know where friendship ends
and passion does begin?
When the gin and tonic
makes the room begin to spin.
(oh yeah)

There may be attraction here
but it will never flower
So I'm assigned to read her mind, now
in this witching hour

Here's no game for those who claim
to be easily bruised
But how can I complain
when she's so easily amused?

Do you know where friendship ends
and passion does begin?
(When she does not show you
the way out on the way in) --
It's between the binding
of her stockings and her skin.
(oh yeah)

.: So Good To be Home :.

I've had this stuck in my head all week... esp. when I get out of the cold...

Wouldn't It Be Loverly - My Fair Lady

It's rather dull in town, I think I'll take me to Paree.
Mmmmmm.
The mistress wants to open up
The castle in Capri.
Me doctor recommends a quiet summer by the sea!
Mmmm, Mmmm, wouldn't it be loverly?

Eliza All I want is a room somewhere,
Far away from the cold night air.
With one enormous chair,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?

Lots of choc'lates for me to eat,
Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat.
Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?

Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still.
I would never budge 'till spring
Crept over me windowsill.
Someone's 'ead restin' on my knee,
Warm an' tender as 'e can be. 'ho takes good care of me,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?

Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly

.: Its Complicated :.

Complicated - Poi Dog Pondering

Wanna Get it right this time.
Complicated is all right
Complicated it's all right.
Sorrow is an angel that comes to you in blue light
and shows you what is wrong just to see if you'll set it right
and I've fucked up so many times in my life --
that I want to get it right this time.

Complicated, it's all right.
So tell me something someone and help me get it right,
or hit me over the head, box me up and say good night.
I can't stand to see myself go through the motions
that bring me back into these same old sad emotions.

Wanna get it right this time.

what to get free with it
(Tell me!)
what to get free with it
(Tell me!)
what to get free with it
(Tell me!)
what to get free with it
(Tell me!)

Sometimes I get so afraid of life
I'm not afraid of death
I'm scared of going through this thing twice
Wanna get it right this time
Complicated it's all right