...lies...

So I lie. I'll be honest about that. I don't necessarily like doing it but why do people do it?... I've heard its a kinda selfish mechanism... is that right?

Ok the only reason I bring this up at this point is that I'm not completely honest and I feel badly about it. I'm not being completely forthright with my friends, my family, and other. Hell, I'm feeling badly about answering, "fine" when i don't really meanit. But really its not to difficult to plaster on a smile and be "fine" in front of the grocery clerk. What of everyone I really do want to talk to but then it gets to the point where I don't want to bother them. I really don't. I don't want to waste their time and mine.

And dear god who is going to listen to me complain about my dad and his karaoke dilly?!?! Its bloody funny as I'm talking about it to other folks but jesus its slowly getting on my nerves. All this hypersensitivity to sound and smell is driving me insane. seriously, folks. i can feel the base coming up off the floorboards. And my dad just accused me of not wanting to hear hear it... well DUH I have bloody earplugs and headphones on....

i gotta get out of here... I so just want to bolt. Old Tessa would have hit the highway by now....