::] ...True...[::

"Young lovers seek perfection.

Old lovers learn the art of sewing shreds together.

And of seeing beauty in a mulitplicity of patches."

- How To Make An American Quilt

Funny. I'd always liked having little conflicts and fights with my bfs. Once when I went years without a boyfriend, I remember hearing a neighbor and her boyfriend fighting. And that's when I felt the loneliest. Really. Think about it. You can hook up with a random anyone. But you have to have some real investment in a person to bother wasting your time with an arguement.

A good therapist would probably say that I just crave the drama that I had in my household when I grow up. Like the fighting and yelling was a messed up way of showing affection. But I thought of it as, well, conflict resolution. yeah, like working on a puzzle, a problem.

Maybe its that I like the stress and tension then finally the release. Like in blues dancing, the connection so reliant on tension, the immediate contact and then feeling when its ok to let go and do your thing. Or maybe it just the wonderful feeling of euphoria that you get after you stop bashing your head up against the wall. Then again maybe it was the make-up sex...